Friday, May 30, 2008

Finished!

I am officially done with my first year of college. I had my last class today, just one hour of physics. It feels sooo good to be done. I can't even believe it. I don't have to go to class again for 3 months! Daniel and I can't stop talking about how happy we are to finally be finished with class. And we feel really good about our grades and everything this quarter.

Yesterday I had three classes, all three have finals next week. We spent each class period reviewing for the finals. I feel so much more confident now about my finals. I knew almost every review question off the top of my head, and now I know what I need to study too. And I have three full days to study for psychology and religion, and then one whole day to study for Physics. Daniel promised to help. And somewhere in there I need to pack up my room too, but that shouldn't be a problem. Oh and yesterday I got my last religion paper back, and I got an A! That's really good because we only have two other grades right now in that class, and they are both Bs. So if I get an A on the final, I think I will get an A in that class. And I'm really confident about my other classes too. I just might finish with all As again. That would be incredible. I have finished the final revisions on all my papers for writing, so once I email them to my professor then I am done with that class.

I want to go out and celebrate finishing my first year. Daniel and I were going to go out for dinner and treat ourselves to a steak (it has been waaaay too long since I have eaten steak), but after spending so much money last weekend, we don't really feel like we can spend a lot again. So we might just get pasta or something like that. We'll see.

Today I went to the Lamont school of music's final picnic at Observatory Park. It was really fun, and the food was good. I got really burned on one side on my shoulder and arm, but that's good because it will turn into a tan. And tomorrow night one of Daniel's fraternity brothers is having a party (I hear there will be lots of beer - yuck) so we'll go to one final party before we head back to Arizona.

I finally called Sun Health Institute to ask if they had the results yet of the internship. The lady said that the program had already started and those who were not selected were notified by email or letter. I told her I didn't get anything. So she transferred me somewhere and I got the answering machine. I hung up. Oh well, I didn't get the job. I'm not so much disappointed about not getting that job, but I am really annoyed that now I have to find another one. I guess I don't have to, but I would like the money and I think I will be bored if I don't have a job and my parents probably would expect me to get a job. So I have to start looking for places to apply. Number one on my list is Banana Republic at Kierland. I really want the employee discount! Or maybe Barnes and Noble or something. I have also thought about applying to be a receptionist at a doctors office or something. I think I would be good at that, but I don't really know how to find out if there are any jobs open.

Last night was our last choir concert - the Haydn Harmonie Mass. It went really well. Daniel was very impressed, well really everyone was very impressed. I really enjoyed singing it and I was really proud to be part of the group even though I know the reason it sounded good was because of all the opera majors and everything. I can't wait to hear the recording and play it for my family. There was a really tiny part of me that thought maybe my family would come and surprise me. But they didn't. A small disappointment. I really hope they come to visit campus sometime next year. It's really sad meeting other peoples' parents and never having yours come to visit.

Well I have to go eat a mediocre, barely edible dinner at Nelson Hall because for some stupid reason ours isn't open on Friday nights. Bleh. I can't wait to go home.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I'm depressed for no reason

Today was actually a really good day. But I'm depressed right now and I can't really tell why. Except for the fact that I am so sick of the dining hall I could scream, and I'm tired, and I still didn't get a letter about the summer internship. I don't feel like those should really make me depressed though.

In psychology this morning, we learned about OCD, depression, and suicide. What an uplifting class, huh? It made me think about a lot of things. About myself and people I know. It was an interesting but also kind of unnerving class. I don't like talking about that stuff. I don't know why, it just makes me very uncomfortable.

In physics, my next class, something good happened! Before class, I went up to the front of the room to ask Dr. Iona if he uses the same textbook for his NATS Physics class and my Physics class (I wanted to know so that I wouldn't sell my textbook if Daniel could use it next year). He said no, they use an easier book. Then he asked if the Tuesday and Thursday 2-4pm time slot worked for me next year. I told him yes, and he said Good! You got the job. I thanked him and asked how many students he had signed up for it. He said about 80. I told him that was surprising because none of my friends want to take it. They all think it will be too hard. But I was telling them all that the professor was really good (a little sucking up never hurts). He smiled and then class was starting. So it's nice to know finally that I have at least one good job next year.

After physics, I ate lunch (by myself- I hate that) in the dining hall. Nothing looked good, so I resorted to the old standard pasta bar. I got a couple spoonfuls of bow-tie pasta and this weird-looking tomato sauce. I went to sit down, took one bite, and it was crunchy. Pasta is not supposed to be crunchy. So I threw it out and left. No lunch for me. For the next hour until my next class (American religion), I read the textbook and tried desperately to stay awake. I suffered through my next class until I could go home and took a nap. Then Daniel called and woke me up to go have dinner with him. I was tired and grumpy and once again really annoyed at the crappy dining hall food.

And now I'm here, biding my time until a choir rehearsal tonight. I don't want to go. It's a 15 minute walk and it's been 60 degrees, cloudly, and damp all day. Yuck. But I think once I get there and start singing, I will actually feel better.

Yesterday for Memorial Day we had no class, so Daniel and I went downtown to go shopping. I wanted to buy some nicer tops because all I have right now is a bunch of T-shirts. I gave myself $100 budget (the amount of money I will get back for my textbooks). At Banana Republic I tried on a million shirts because I absolutely love everything there. I finally narrowed it down to two tops I definitely wanted to buy, and a halter top that was absolutely adorable on me (and Daniel really really liked it), but it was $50. A little more than I would normally spend on a halter top. After a lot of rationalizing, Daniel and I decided I should go for it. And, when we got to the register, the salesperson did a good job of selling us on a Banana Republic Card. Daniel opened one, so we got 20% off! That made me very happy. Between the two of us, we would have spent $225, but it went down to $180. And I spent exactly my budget. Actually, 99.80, but that's pretty close. And Daniel and I both felt so great buying beautiful, well-made clothes. We both love BR and talk dreamily about the day we can go there and buy whatever we want.

So, in summary, I should be in a good mood. I feel slightly better now, especially after remembering those cute shirts I bought yesterday. I have to go to rehearsal now, and then I get to watch the Diamondbacks. That makes me happy too.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

I'm procrastinating

I have finished all my homework for this weekend (plus more) except for one paper that I have to write. It's my last paper for this year and it's for American Religion. And I am doing everything I possibly can to postpone writing it.

Last night Daniel and I went to see "Into the Woods" at Lamont. A few of our friends were in it, and the tickets were free so we decided to go see it. It was so cute! The music and acting was really good, and the set was incredible. It was the first ever completely student run opera. My RA was Jack's mother and she did really well too. Daniel almost cried at the end when the Baker's wife was stepped on by the giant. He just gets really into the show I think. It's kinda cute.

Afterwards, we went with Lexi and Eric to Tim's apartment to hang out. Tim is the President of Theta Chi. I don't know what was up with me, but I was just out of it. I think I was kind of rude to Tim even though I didn't mean to be. I guess I was just really uncomfortable because there were a bunch of people there I didn't know, and this guy came in totally stoned. And I didn't really want to drink, but I think I offended Tim when I refused a drink. And then they were all going to go over to this other kid's house to play beer pong and I just really wasn't up for it. Everyone tried to get Daniel and I to go, but I insisted that I didn't want to. First of all, I hate beer, and I really don't like the idea of drinking games either. I think it's a stupid excuse to get really drunk. Plus, that was the kid that was stoned and I really didn't want to get involved with that. And I didn't know him, so I wasn't keen on going over to his house. I felt really pressured by everyone, they wanted us to go really bad. I was grateful that Daniel was supporting me and not giving in to all our friends. I would have been really upset if he joined them and pressured me to go as well. It was hard enough resisting all of them; I couldn't have resisted if I didn't have Daniel backing me up. So we walked home at about 11:30 and talked until Daniel had to go to work at 1.

Last night when the show was starting my stomach was hurting really bad. My senior year of high school I used to get stomachaches just about every night between 7 and 10pm. Like every night after dinner. It was the weirdest thing. At first I thought maybe I was lactose intolerant, but cutting out dairy didn't help. And then the doctor said that it was because I had too much acid in my stomach due to my (very mild and not worth medicating) OCD. So I got a prescription for antacids, but that didn't help either. Then a different doctor told me to take this fiber stuff every day, but that didn't help in the long run either. When I moved to Denver, my stomachaches went away for like 3 weeks. And now I get one about once a week. Daniel is convinced that it's from stress/anxiety. But last night I didn't feel stressed out at all. And it's weird that it's always at night. Not before a test, not when I have a lot of homework, or anything like that. And I can't see any pattern with what I eat either. I am so frustrated! I read an article that said that some people with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) benefited from taking anti-depressants. But I really don't want to take medication again. That stuff messes with my emotions too much. I guess that's the point. But regardless, I feel like I need to do something because it's driving me crazy!

I go home in less than two weeks! It can't come soon enough.

Friday, May 23, 2008

One week of class left

This morning I woke up early so I could go see Daniel's final performance. Today was his last brass class so he performed for all the other brass students and all the brass professors. I was so proud of him! He practiced really hard and I could definitely tell. The song had some really hard stuff in it and Daniel played it almost perfectly! I am so glad that he is making so much progress and learning so much after just one year. It's kind of sad though because I know that his parents and my parents would be really proud of him too if they were there to hear it. I guess they'll have to settle for a recording.

Today I started packing up the stuff that I am going to leave here over the summer. Mostly that means winter clothes and school supplies. It felt so good to pack some of that stuff up and throw a bunch of stuff out. I want to go home so so very bad and it feels like I still have so much time left here. But packing means I'm that much closer.

Daniel and I were going to share a storage unit with two of our friends (Meade and Eric) who are also from out of state. However, Eric is living in a house next year so he is storing his stuff there. So that leaves the two of us and Meade. When we looked at places to store, they are so unbelievably expensive! Like 40-50 dollars a month for a 5x5 room, plus $20 to move in, 20$ for insurance and plus tax on top of that! For just a little empty room to put our boxes in! That makes me so angry. Well, when we were looking one of our friends just happened to walk by and he told us that he might have some open space in his basement for us to put our stuff over the summer. We thought that would be great! We could pay him like 10-15 dollars a month, no move-in fee or insurance or anything and we would all be happy. Except Meade. Because that kinda leaves her with having to rent a place all by herself. And it turns out that that evening she told us that she already rented a place.....in Littleton. That's a thirty minute drive away. Not to mention none of us have a car. So we have to con our friends into driving us there to store our stuff and we'll have to con someone again in September to get our stuff out. Asking someone to drive thirty minutes each way is a little ridiculous when there is one that's a couple blocks from campus. So the problem is, how to politely tell Meade that she's crazy. Or just suck it up and go along with it.

The Diamondbacks are killing the Braves right now. And you wanna know the worst part? Nicole is probably sitting on our living room couch watching it right now. And I'm stuck in this godforsaken dorm room the size of a closet. And I still don't know if I have a job this summer. I'm sure whoever is reading this is getting sick of me saying that. I'm getting sick of saying that too. Sorry.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A day of little surprises

Wow. Right now it's 65 degrees in Scottsdale, and 64 degrees here in Denver. I never thought that would happen in May.
I expected today to be an ordinary Thursday, but a few extraordinary things happened.

First, in psychology, I learned many interesting things. We are learning about mental illnesses. Today we learned about multiple personality disorder, phobias, and generalized anxiety. Based on what we learned today I don't think I have a phobia (of loud noises) or generalized anxiety disorder. I don't think I have a phobia because I don't think it impairs my functioning. Daniel disagrees. Whatever I guess it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm going to get treatment because I don't like it when balloons pop. That's stupid. But it was really interesting learning about multiple personality disorders. We watched a video of this guy, Tony, and he had 53 different personalities. Some of them were different ages, like children, and some were even women. One of them, named Dede, is a 'caretaker' personality. She keeps track of all of them and makes sure that an underage personality doesn't come out when he is driving and stuff like that. Really creepy stuff. And the sad part is that the disorder develops most often after a severely traumatic experience in childhood and it's the brain's way of coping.

Second, my lab (last one!) ended really early so I got to have lunch with Daniel. That was nice, because I don't usually get to see him on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Then, in my American Religion class, we had a guest speaker come in. His name is Vincent Harding and he was a close friend of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. He marched with him in the 60s and helped write his speech that he gave at Riverside. He is now a professor here at our (Methodist) school of theology. He just might be the wisest man I have ever met. Everything he said sounded like he had rehearsed it. His answers to our questions were all so thoughtful and deep. The things he said made me really want to work towards peace. He was so interesting, I could sit there and listen to him all day. I was the first student to ask a question, and before I could, he insisted that before he talks to anyone, he wants to know thier full name and where they grew up. When he answered my question, I felt like he was thinking carefully about every word he was saying. He was answering as if I had just asked him the meaning of my life. It was like I really mattered and he cared about me for those few minutes. Since our class was about American religion, our questions focused on the role of the black church and christianity in Dr. King's life and the civil rights movement. It's really interesting to me how little we learn about that side of his life work. Everyone knows that he worked for civil rights, but not a lot of people think about the fact that he was a reverend and all his speeches were filled with allusions and quotes from the bible. And it makes me wonder if he were around today, would people be turned off by his christian background? Would they listen as readily to his message? Would he have as many devoted followers? I'm not sure about that. Well, anyways, Mr. Harding had a lot of interesting things to say about Dr. King's life then, and about our current society now. I'm tempted to take a theology class just so I can have him as a professor.

One of the most important things that he said was a different take on a familiar passage of the bible. He took that passage about how the church is the body of Christ and that each body part has its specific function. A knee doesn't do the same thing as an eye, etc. He said that he believes this is how the world is. Each person has a function and together, as a whole, we work in perfect harmony. And just like he wouldn't want his intestine to change to perform the same function as his teeth, he also doesn't want a Buddhist person to change to be a Christian. In our amazing diversity, we all work together to worship God.

He also made an analogy to describe why he hates the word "tolerance" so much. A girl in our class asked if he thought we would ever be completely tolerant of other races, religions, etc. He explained that he never hopes for 'tolerance'. It's like going out into a garden and saying "I tolerate that yellow flower, that blue flower, that red flower". That's ridiculous! Flowers are not tolerated, they're beautiful. And beauty is to be celebrated. He wants us not to tolerate each other, but to celebrate each other.

Another surprise I got was when I got back home tonight, I had a package that my parents ordered. The RHA (Resident Hall Association) puts together little bags of snacks and candy and food that parents can order for their student during finals week. My parents ordered me the junk food version and Daniel the healthy version. We'll just share both though. It's nice to know that they are thinking about me and realize how stressful finals are. And it's just something that makes me feel like they are closer to me and more involved in my life. I will be very happy to go home and see them in two weeks.

Still waiting to hear about the two jobs. It's driving me nuts!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Okay I have time to post now.

I'm so close to the end of the quarter, yet I still have a lot to do before it's over. I feel like I'm constantly on the edge. I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and I'm leaning over, ready to jump, but it's not quite time to jump yet. One minute I'm excited because I only have one more choir rehearsal left, no more big papers to write. The next minute I'm scared because I have two weeks to prepare for three final exams. And now that it's ridiculously warm outside it really feels like summer. It feels like school should be ending. Between classes I walk through campus and people are in their bikinis sunbathing, eating lunch on the grass, reading a book under a tree, and it just feels like being in a classroom is wasting the beautiful sunshine! So basically I'm constantly on edge. Every minute I'm counting down until the end of my first year of college. And listing off the things I need to do before I get on that flight for Phoenix. It's quite a list. A daunting list.

If I'm feeling like this I can't imagine what seniors are feeling.

Today between psychology and physics, I was walking to class, and by coincidence came upon Daniel walking from class to lunch. I wasn't expecting to see him until 6pm this evening after class, so it was a nice surprise! Not only that, but he came up and gave me a kiss and a long hug. I think he was happy to see me too :-) And that made me think about how happy I am that I am here and not Boston. That I get to see Daniel between classes and every day. And we get to start planning our future together. When I was in Boston, we were just trying to get through college and then worry about our lives together. This was the best decision I could have made. To transfer here I mean. Now when I'm home, I can enjoy the time with my family instead of trying to cram in every second with Daniel. It makes me so happy to be with him. Especially when he does nice things like kiss me even though there are lots of people around. I'm sure they look at us and they're jealous. I was listening to that Relient K song today. I love that song. It makes me think of us.

no word

I still don't know about either job I applied for. I think I'm going to die without ever finding out if I got either. I am checking my e-mail obsessively, checking my mailbox three times a day, and waiting for any hint from my physics professor that he has made a decision about his learning assistants.

However, yesterday, I finally took the spanish diagnostic test. I did horrible. Apparently, I have to start over from the beginning even though I have had two years of high school spanish. When I talked with an advisor, she told me that first quarter you get through conjugating -ar verbs in the present tense. I laughed. I can do that in my sleep! So she said that if I'm sure I don't need to review the first quarter, I can go ahead and sign up for spanish 1002 and then if I determine that it's too hard I can switch into 1001 easily. Not much chance of that happening. So I have to take two quarters of spanish and I'm done with the foreign language requirement. And now I'm registered for three classes next quarter. Still working on the core class.

Darn I have to go to class. American Religion. Maybe I will blog during class. Either way, I'll post more later. Probably.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Last Night

I had such a good night last night! Actually a good whole day yesterday. By the time I woke up Daniel was back from his camping trip so we had lunch together and then I sat down and finished all my homework. I HATE writing papers. I dread the moment that I have to actually sit down and write them. But I had this paper that I had to do this weekend. It involves research and citations and all this stuff that made my stomach hurt every time I thought about it. So after lunch I sat down and did it. It took me about 2 hours I think which is not bad. And I feel pretty good about it. I'm about 300 words under the minimum word count, so I'll have to add some stuff in before I submit my final draft, but that's no big deal. I'm just glad I got it done. And, it is my last paper of my last writing class ever! The only paper I will have to write from now on will be just information, no arguing. Like a lab report or something. I don't mind those nearly as much as argumentations. Then I did my physics homework. That usually takes me an hour and a half and I usually get about 85-90% on it, but yesterday I finished it in 45 minutes and I got 100%! All the other homework I usually do on the weekends I finished on Thursday and Friday so that means I'm done! I felt so good after finishing. I knew that meant that I could go out and have a good time and not worry about school.

Then at 5:30 Daniel and I met downstairs and we took the light rail down to 16th street mall and had a beautiful and delicious dinner at Maggianos. I think that might be my new favorite restaurant. When we were seated we were literally surrounded on all sides by prom groups. It was crazy! After dinner we went to the symphony. They were playing Carmina Burana. I knew the first part of it because we played that for our marching show my freshman year of high school. But beyond that, I didn't know much about it. Well, we walked in and saw a huge orchestra and a 200 person adult choir behind them. Incredible! They were so amazing. It was this huge epic piece and they performed it perfectly. I can't even describe it. Then on top of the orchestra and adult choir, there was a bass and soprano soloist (who fall in love) and a children's choir too. They were all so amazing. In the program was printed all the latin words and what they meant in English so I followed along with the story. It was at times funny and very romantic. Then we came back to my room and the night ended perfectly.

So today we are going to eat our leftovers from Maggiano's for lunch (the best part of Maggiano's I think) and I have a rehearsal for choir this afternoon. After seeing the CSO perform Carmina Burana, I am really excited for my choir. The Lamont school of music is putting together a performance of Haydn's Harmonie Mass. So it's the same type of thing that Carmina Burana is, except instead of a love story it tells the story of Christ's birth, crucifixion and resurrection. I'm singing in the choir, then there's the full orchestra, and four soloists (Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Bass) that sing little quartets throughout the mass. We have this huge book of music that's like 120 pages of music (just the choir part) and the mass is about 45 minutes long. Today is our first rehearsal all together so I am really excited to hear it all put together. I just wish that some of my family could come see me when we perform. But at least they can hear a recording of it. Lamont records every concert that's performed there, so it's easy to get a copy.

I don't get to watch the Diamondbacks today. I didn't get to watch them last night either. But that's okay, I'll get over it. Last night my Dad called and I couldn't answer because I was at the symphony. When I checked my messages, I heard this little tiny voice say "Hi Rachel. It's Kian. See you later." It was the cutest thing! I guess my parents babysat last night haha. I miss babysitting. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot this summer.

Today it's a beautiful 80 degrees. I think 75-80 is my perfect temperature. Just on the warm side. I saw that in Phoenix it's going to hit 108 tomorrow. I don't think I'm ready for that. I guess I don't have a choice. By the time I get home it'll be over 110 everyday. But at the same time, that's home and I love it. I definitely want to live in Scottsdale and raise my kids there. I think it's the perfect place to raise a family. If we can afford it.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Right now I'm feeling....

bored and hungry and lonely. It's times like these that I really wish I was home. If I were at home right now I would get myself something to eat and then maybe go shopping. Or I would take a bubble bath. No, never mind, I would cook myself a delicious dinner and then have a big bowl of chocolate ice cream for dessert. That sounds nice. But, I am stuck here with no car and no boyfriend to keep me company. The dining hall is closed on Friday which means that if I want something to eat then I have to walk 15 minutes to the other dining hall and eat by myself. I could order a pizza or something, but then I'd have to eat it all by myself. And pizza doesn't really sound good right now. But if I were at home then I would have a car and a house full of food with a beautiful kitchen to cook it in. And I would have parents and sister to keep me company and perhaps go out to eat or go shopping with. I guess it's times like these that also make me appreciate my family and house and car when I am home. I need to remember this when I am at home. I'm still waiting to hear about the two jobs I applied for. I should find out about both in the next week. I will be really surprised and probably disappointed if I don't get either job. I will be very happy if I get both jobs. I need all the money I can get.

Daniel and I are planning a trip to Disneyland over our winter break. I have always wanted to go when it's all decorated for Christmas and everything. And since we get a whole 6 weeks off, we figured we would need time away from our families anyways. And then we went on the website and determined that with gas, food, hotel, and park tickets, it's going to cost about $1200 for the two of us for 3 days and 3 nights if we drive. Of course that's if we don't stay at a disgusting cheap hotel, get park-hopper tickets, and eat about one nice meal a day. I wanted to make sure that if we go, we have enough money so we're not worried about cutting costs the whole time. I think it will be really fun! I am excited to see it all decorated. And hopefully it won't be as crowded as it usually is when we go in the spring with school.

Less than three weeks until I go home. I remember the first night I was home for spring break. It felt like I was visiting my parents' house. Even though I was in my room and everything, it felt like someone else's house. Maybe it's because my parents were treating me all special. Or maybe because I was the only one home. Or maybe because my cloest and drawers and everything were pretty empty. Regardless, I hope that this summer I settle back in quickly and feel like I really am home. It's kind of sad because if that's not my home, then I don't really have one. I don't think anyone would tell you that a dorm feels like home. It's definitely not home when you have to share a bathroom with people you don't know and you have rules to follow and floor meetings and stuff. So without a home in Denver, and no home in Phoenix, I'm kinda homeless. That makes me really excited for when Daniel and I buy a house. In just about a year from now we will be closing a deal on our first house. His parents are buying it of course, but they understand that the two of us will be sharing the master bedroom and we will probably have 2 or 3 other roommates as well. And I really really really hope I have a car. And then we will get our first pet (an english bulldog) and we will start our life together. I can't wait. I will cook dinner for us and we can have friends over and I will be the perfect hostess. Okay, that may be an unrealistic ideal, but it's my fantasy and I can envision anything I want.

I really should get something to eat. The dining hall doesn't open until 11:00am tomorrow, so that means I will go just about 24 hours without a meal. Oh well, maybe I'll lose a pound. Ha.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Frustration!

Yesterday I had registration for next quarter. I thought about it a lot, and I chose to take biology, chemistry, and core. Well when I tried to register, I got an error message on chemistry and core. So I was only registered for one class. When I called the registrar's office to figure out what's wrong, I found out that I cannot take chemistry because I already have the credit. I got the credit from taking the AP Chemistry test (3 years ago). I wanted to retake it because it's been so long and I'm afraid that I don't remember enough of it. So after making two more phone calls and talking to the organic chemistry professor, I have decided that I will not register for it, but I will plan on sitting in on the class. I will not have to take tests or do labs and I won't get a grade. The reason I couldn't sign up for core was because I am not a junior. I emailed the professor to ask permission to take the class and she said there are already 10 students on the waiting list, and she can't add anymore. So... back to one class - biology. After re-evaluating my schedule, I registered for a class that will go towards my psychology minor. It's called "motivation and emotion". I think it will be interesting, and I'm glad that I'm working towards one of my minors. So that's two classes now. Tomorrow I am going to go to the foreign language office and tell them that I need to take the spanish test so I can find out what level I need to register for. If I test out of one or no quarters, then I will take spanish. I also found another core class that I want to take, but there is no professor listed yet, so I can't email anyone to ask permission to take it. So both of those are up in the air. This is so stressful. The longer I wait to register, the less spots that are open. Hopefully I will be taking biology, psych, spanish, and core, plus the chemistry lecture in the morning and my LA job (if I get it - still no word) Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and then whatever time is left I will work at the desk in my residence hall. Wow that sounds overwhelming. But I'm sure I can do it. I really want to graduate as soon as possible, and that means taking as many classes as possible.

Today I went to the awards ceremony to receive my scholarship. It was really nice to be recognized. At BU I felt like I was lost in the crowd and that I would never be recognized for anything. Eric went with me and kept me company until the ceremony started. Then Daniel came in a few minutes after it started. He had to beg his wind ensemble director to let him out early and then ran for like 2 blocks straight to get the awards ceremony in time to see me. He knew it was really important to me. And I was so glad that he was there. Him and Eric wooed when they called my name and Daniel took pictures of me up there holding my envelope. It's times like these that I really wish my parents were close by, but I can't complain. I'm the one that chose to go here I guess.

Two nights ago I had a strange dream. I was in my english class from high school senior year. A bunch of my high school friends were there. It was like a one year reunion and everyone was hugging and reminiscing. It was so fun. It made me miss senior year. I remember that class felt like a party every day. Every one knew each other, and the teachers were laid back, and we just had fun. College definitely has its merits, but I don't think I will ever have a class where I know everyone and we all are friends and have a great time together. I miss that. The sad part is, I don't think I will probably talk to some of those people ever again, except maybe at a reunion or something. Although, that's what facebook is for, right? I feel really lucky that I got to go to Horizon. I think it was an awesome school with great friends. I have great memories.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Errr!

My first class today was physics at 12pm. I have like a 15 minute walk to get there. When I got to class, I opened my backpack to pull out my notebook and everything was wet! My water bottle was not screwed on all the way so it spilled all over everything. My laptop and religion textbook got the worst of it. So then I had to run back and forth from the bathroom to class and try to wipe up the desk and my computer and everything else that was soaking wet. Before class started. My professor noticed and got me a big roll of paper towels which was very kind of him. So I emptied out my backpack and stuffed it with paper towels. Daniel very kindly brought me two bags from the bookstore. one has all my stuff in it, while the other has my soaking wet backpack. Ugh. What a horrible start to the day. Now I have to carry around all my stuff in a plastic bag and hope it doesn't rip. Good thing I only have one more class today.

On a brighter note, at the end of class we got our mid-terms back. I got 33/33, 100%!! Yay! That should definitely help me bring up my grade before the end of the quarter. Additionally, I have been getting almost 100% on all my homeworks and labs. One more quiz, one more lab, one more homework, and one more test left. Three weeks from tomorrow is my final exam and my flight is that evening. Thank goodness!

I just had a horrible exchange with my sister on facebook. I deleted it so you nosy people can't read it. Ha! I tried to be nice because we are both sensitive to each other telling the other one what to do, but apparently I wasn't trying hard enough. She got angry and basically told me she isn't going to tell me anything else about her life. Great. Well, I apologized so hopefully no permanent damage done.

But, honestly, her boyfriend ran away to be with her. Okay the "running away" phrase is all mine, but he flew to see her without telling his parents. He is already a sore subject for me in the first place, and I think he is like the stupidest person on the planet. It seems like his whole entire life revolves around my sister (based on what she has told me). And I KNOW that it was not a good idea for him to fly to see her without telling his parents. What a great way to endear the in-laws. Nicole thinks it's ridiculous for them to forbid that he come see her, but I think that's a good idea, even though I know it must hurt Nicole (I've been there). But if he doesn't want his parents telling him what to do then he needs to grow up and prove that he is capable of making good decisions on his own! He is such a dead-beat! He dropped out of college, lives with his older brother, and according to Nicole the only reason he even wants to get a job is so he can make money to come see her! Does he have no ambition in life except to woo her? Does she not have higher standards for the people she dates? I should probably stop here and say that I have never actually met him. He probably is a very nice person. I just don't understand why she is attracted to him. The number one thing that attracts me to a guy is intelligence. Daniel is very smart And along with that comes motivation, hard work, etc. Daniel is getting good grades, and he loves what he is doing and has a clear goal for what he wants to do when he graduates. Mike has none of that! Nicole has made it clear that it is very difficult to get kicked out of Rose and somehow, he did. I mean with their faculty-to-student ratio, he could have gotten private tutoring for goodness sake. He can't be stupid because he got in to Rose in the first place. Which is what scares me. I am afraid that he is so incredibly focused on Nicole that he completely neglected his schoolwork even though he is capable of doing it. And Nicole deserves someone as smart as she is. She is so so smart! She could marry a nobel proze winning physicist! That's who she deserves anyways. I know she would hate all of this if she read it. But I hope that she would also understand that everyone thinks that she deserves someone just as smart as she is. And I am pretty sure that everyone doesn't think that Mike is it.

Done ranting. Gotta go to class.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

More worms!

It rained all night and all day today. Which means there were more worms everywhere! Ewww! Every time I see one I can feel my stomach do a flip and I squirm and jump and sometimes scream. Gross. Eventually, I'll have to get over this.

I'm watching the Diamondbacks game and they're kicking butt! The first inning was practically batting practice. 9 hits in the first 2 innings. Pathetic for the Rockies.

All of a sudden, my blog is popular. I guess it helps when I actually tell people I have it. Ha.

So apparently, today's blog is randomness. I'm still waiting for my physics professor to post our mid-term grades on blackboard. He is usually very prompt with his grading, but not today!

Last weekend Daniel volunteered (although it was required for his writing class) at this thing called Project Homeless Connect. The city of Denver partners with DU to provide a whole day where homeless people are bussed to our campus and provided with all kinds of services. They could apply for housing, get a birth certificate and ID, apply for a job, get food stamps, settle misdemeanors in a make-shift court, and even get a haircut or massage. So Daniel's job was to play with kids while their parents took care of things. Anyways, today in our school newspaper there was a special section with articles about different people who came. They were all so negative! One article began with the sentence, "Fida came to DU hoping to leave with a job and a home, but left with just a T-shirt". The reason she didn't get a job or a home? She refused to give anyone her social security number. How the heck are you supposed to get help if you don't give anyone your SS number? Another article was about this 19-year-old girl who was kicked out by her drug-addicted Mom and also left with nothing. She wasn't provided food stamps because she missed too many days of work, she couldn't get housing because she didn't have any children, and she couldn't get any money because she wasn't disabled or elderly. How depressing. It really makes me feel like all this effort was worth it to help the homeless people of Denver. Seriously. Ugh.

On a brighter note, I really enjoyed choir today. Usually by 4pm on Tuesday and Thursday I am sick of school and want to go home and get some dinner, but today I really enjoyed it. We're to the point now where we know all the notes and everything, and we can just focus on making beautiful music. In the beginning of the quarter I really liked our spirituals, but this one song called "A Child Said" has really grown on me. I love singing it because I feel like it's meaningful and beautiful. The lyrics are a peom, I think by Walt Whitman. You can look it up if you're that interested. And I've also made a bunch of new friends since we got new seating assignments. Some of the girls in choir are really obnoxious (I mean really obnoxious), so they kind of dominate the group dynamic. But I am finally getting to know the quieter girls.

Tomorrow is registration for next year. I am taking general chemistry, concepts in biology, and a core class (required for all students, regardless of major) called "Life's Aim" that studies how people come to decide what they are going to do with their lives. I'm only taking 12 credits which makes me feel guilty regardless of what my parents, Daniel, and everyone else says. They are all convinced that my biology and chemistry classes are going to keep me very busy (along with the two jobs I am applying for) and that it will be better to take 12 credits so I can really focus and do well in my science classes. I can see their point, but I feel like if we're paying for 18 credits, why not take at least 16? And if that means I can graduate earlier, then that means I can move out earlier, get married earlier, have kids earlier, and grow up earlier. But, as I tried to figure out what my fourth class will be, I discovered that because of the two three-hour labs a week, I can't fit another class in my schedule. So the school made the decision for me. Oh well, hopefully that means I'll get really good grades and make lots of money.

I have sort of applied for two jobs for next year. One is an LA (learning assistant) for the physics class that non-science majors take . I will be attending class with them (so it's only like 4-5 hours a week) and going around and answering questions and helping them with example problems. Daniel is going to take that class so that'll be really nice if I get it. My current physics professor is the professor for that class too and he decides who gets hired. I would get paid $600 each quarter. He is such an awesome teacher (note to self: subject for another blog) so I will really enjoy working with him. And the second job is working at the desk of my residence hall. There is supposed to be a student sitting at the desk 24 hours a day to help people who get locked out, give people packages, and just monitor the residence hall. One of Daniel's fraternity brothers is in charge and he has already offerred me the job. So I can bring my homework and sit there and get paid ($7 an hour, but it's something). So right now I'm waiting to hear about two jobs. I've never really had a real job (besides work-study in Boston) so this is really exciting!

The Diamondbacks just won. Man was that pathetic. It ended like 20 minutes early and the Rockies sucked it up.

Okay, this is long enough. And very random. However, randomness is good.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Snow. Yuck.

I posted twice today because I'm bored.

It's supposed to snow tomorrow. In May. Today it was almost 80 degrees, and tomorrow the high is 45. What the crap?! I used to like snow. I really did. In Boston, it was exciting. The first time it really snowed, I actually danced around outside. But in May, it's just freaking ridiculous. I mean, seriously, summer is here. It's here, and God needs to stop torturing us little ants with his giant magnifying glass. We are ready to wear shorts and T-shirts and sunglasses and sit outside at lunch and soak up the sun (and get skin cancer). But, alas, tomorrow I will be pulling out my coat and boots again. And somehow it seems that whenever we have a big storm, it's always on a Tuesday or Thursday. Funny. Because on Tuesday and Thursday I have my first class on the north end of campus, my second on the south end of campus, my third on the north again, and my fourth on the south again. Then at 6pm, after 8 full hours of class, I have to walk back to the north end to get back to my dorm. And tomorrow, that will mean walking for 15 minutes each a total of four times. In the snow. With 40 degree weather. I can't wait.

On a brighter note, this week is going to be good. It is going to go quickly because I really only have three days of class, and on Thursday I am missing my last class because of an awards ceremony. And once this week is over, that means two weeks until finals and then I get to go home!

I don't know why I'm so excited to go home except that means I get my own room and decent food. And I get to see my family and friends again which is good too. But I know that after about 2 or 3 weeks at home, I'm going to be dying to get away from my parents. Is that horrible? I feel bad saying that, but I know it's true. I'll have to find somewhere I can sleep over for a little while if I need a break. Maybe Evan's new house in Tempe. Although, I don't know if I can handle one night at Evan's. We'll see. I'm sure Beth will let me stay at her house. I can't wait to see Beth and Sarah and my sister. We always have an awesome time when we're together, and especially now that we're all adults and can go out and do what we want. I went to a party with Sarah over spring break and I think she liked that I am more social now. She was really surprised that I'm okay with drinking, but she said I don't act any different when I'm drunk. Haha Eric and Lexi would disagree. They said that one of my eyes crosses. I think that was just that one time. Okay, now I'm getting off topic so that's enough of that.

Good night.

class was CANCELLED!

Yay! Last night I got an email from my writing professor and he's sick so he cancelled class today. And on Monday I only have class from 12-1 and 2-4 anyways so since that class was cancelled I only have class from 12-1. And, coincidentally, today that class was just taking a mid-term which took me 30 minutes. So, to sum up, I had 30 minutes of class today! Ha! That makes me happy. But now I'm kind of like what am I going to do with all this free time? So I will be doing me and Daniel's laundry later (fun fun). And probably get ahead on my homework. I am so lame.

So right now I'm in Daniel's music tech class. It's in a lab with a bunch of computers hooked up to pianos so I'm using one while Daniel does his work. I just finished my physics mid-term and I think I did really well. After getting all As last quarter, I really want to keep all As, but I'm not sure that's going to happen. Especially in physics. I've gotten lots and lots of Bs on tests and papers, etc. It's very frustrating. If I do well on this mid-term, and my final, I might still be able to get an A in physics. And if I get an A on my next test and mid-term in Religion then I can probably get an A. All I have left in Psychology is one more test, so I better get an A on that. It's so much pressure!

So now that I am reaching the end of my first year of college, I have realized that I have changed a lot. Daniel agrees that I am MUCH more extraverted and fun. I never went to parties in high school, but with Daniel's fraternity and all i go to a lot of parties now. And I have a good time! However, Daniel might say that I still have a ways to go in the anxiety- OCDness of my personality. I would say that I have also improved much in that area (hello - sharing a bathroom with 30 other girls), but I think Daniel disagrees. He still thinks I need to be medicated. But I don't like being on anti-psychotics, so he'll just have to deal.

College has been awesome. I love being able to do whatever I want and not having to listen to my parents (although they didn't really tell me what to do when I lived at home anyways). And I love having just a couple of hours of class each day. High school was full of busy work and wasting time. It sucked. And I also love that I can do all my homework on the weekend and I really don't have to do that much during the week. And that professors sometimes cancel class at the last minute leaving me with a bunch of free time! So I will go and enjoy that free time now..... by doing some homework. Bleh.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Today Daniel is taking me out!

I got all my homework done early because this afternoon Daniel is taking me out on a date. We are having lunch at a little Italian bistro (that's what the website said anyways) and then going to the Colorado Symphony. They're playing the Four Seasons by Vivaldi which I absolutely love. And yesterday we spent almost all day together too. I love just laying in bed watching movies.

Last night my Mom called. She went to Erin Vedder's wedding shower. Erin's mom, Linda, is the one that told me about the internship I applied for. She works for Sun Health Research Institute and they have this summer internship program. So anyways at the shower she told my mom that there are 17 positions and 200 applications! 200! Yikes! I had no idea how many applicants or spots there were, but now I am scared. She said that first they throw out all the ones that didn't complete the application right and then they looked at our "personal statement". I am really bad at writing "personal statements" so that makes me really nervous. I actually went to our writing center on campus to get help with it because I had no idea what to write. They helped me a lot and I felt much more confident about it. But, seriously, why can't they look at my transcript first. I am very confident about that. Anyways, she said that they really liked my letter, so that's awesome! I should find out if I get the job in the next week or two. After my mom told me all of that I couldn't stop thinking about it. This will be my first real job. And it will look so good on my resume in the future not to mention the $1000 at the end of the summer. I won't really look forward to working 40 hours a week since I'm used to having the whole summer to do whatever I want. But that's a small price to pay. Oh I hope I get it! I want this more than anything right now.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Unbelievable, yet true.

I just finished a book that I have been reading for the past few days. It is called Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia. This book made me so angry I want to scream! I will try to contain my anger to explain rationally why it makes me so emotional. Sultana, the narrator of the book, is a Saudi princess. She was born in the late 1960s I'm guessing from other dates that were in the book. She describes her life growing up in the lavish palaces of Saudi Arabia. The focus of her memoir is on the horrific treatment of women. As a child, her and her sisters were completely ignored by their father. Her only brother was treated like a King and given absolutely whatever he wanted (like a Mercedes for his fourteenth birthday). The girls are given nothing. They are absolutely forbidden from receiving an education for fear that they will start to get their own ideas. As soon as they have their first period, they are forced to wear a black veil that covers their entire head and torso when they are in the presence of any male that is not an immediate relative. They are married, often just months after their first period, to a man as old as their father to serve as his second or third wife. If it is discovered that she is not a virgin, she will most likely be executed. Wives are expected to produce children for their entire child-bearing years. A baby daughter is considered reason for grieving, while a boy is lavishly celebrated.

Though all of this is horrible, what makes me most angry is the absurd laws and punishments the government and religious Saudi men enforce. In her book, Sultana tells of the fate of friends of hers to illustrate this. The most astrocious that stands out in my mind involves a thirteen year-old girl who was raped by friends of her older brother while their parents were out of the country. When she told her parents what happened, the boys said that she "seduced" them and they were helpless under her flirtacious influence. She became pregnant. The courts decided that she was at fault and would be punished. Immediately after she gave birth to the baby, she was taken into the street and publicly stoned to death. She was executed in a brutal and painful way for being raped. That is absurd. Another Sultana relates is of a young woman that she knew as a childhood playmate. Her father was unusually liberal, and allowed her to study in London for a while when she was 18. She fell in love with a man from California (a non-Muslim). When her father died while she was in London, her conservative Uncle became her guardian. He was outraged by this relationship (which was illegal because he was not a muslim) and seeked to punish her. Citing the Koran (SURA IV, 15: "If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, Take the evidence of four witnesses from amongst you, Against them; and if they testify confine them to houses until Death do claim them"), he banished her to live out the rest of her life in a dark enclosed room in solitary confinement. At 22, she was locked in an insulated, soundproof room with no windows or light and given 3 meals a day through a hole in the door. As you can imagine, she soon went completely mad, but is still imprisoned in that room to this day.

These are just two bits of the story that Sultana tells. And it is all true. Every bit of it. And this was happening 20 or 30 years ago. It is still happening today. I have never felt so passionate about anything as I do about this. The problem is, I don't know what to do about it. What can I do? Donating money will not help anything. That's obvious, because these women are filthy rich from oil. I just feel completely helpless. I am going to do some research and see what kind of movements are out there to help these women. I cannot sit here in this miraculous country of freedom and let that happen.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A damp Wednesday

Last night at like 3 in the morning I woke up. There was some major lightning and thunder going on outside! It must have rained too, because everything was wet this morning. Our windows were open because it gets stuffy in here during the night, but the thunder was so loud I had to close them so I could get some sleep. I'm surprised that I was only mildly anxious about it. Usually thunder really freaks me out, but last night it was kinda cool and exciting. However, this morning, a different phobia surfaced.

Daniel texted me and told me to wear tennis shoes because there were worms everywhere outside. I was confused. I mean, worms stay in the dirt don't they? I'm not going to be walking around in the dirt! So two hours later I had to go to class. I walked outside and talked to Daniel on the phone. I told him I didn't see any worms anywhere. We decided that they must all be on the other side of my dorm. We continued to talk, and then I looked down at the sidewalk and as I looked closely, I suddenly noticed that there were little tiny squirming worms EVERYWHERE! I screamed and jumped and ran, but there was nowhere that I could go to get away from them. For a few minutes I just freaked out, but then I took a deep breath and relaxed. I found a little patch of sidewalk with no worms and stood there. It's so ridiculous. I know that worms are completely harmless and there is no reason to be freaking out. But it didn't help. All day I was paranoid. My eyes were focused on the ground everywhere I walked, and if something brushed up against me I jumped and screamed. It was a stressful day. Now I'm freaked out that there's worm guts on my shoes and carpet and stuff. By the end of the day, the sidewalk was a graveyard of squished, fried, dried up worms on the sidewalks. Ewwwww it makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Last night I started to figure out my schedule for next year because registration is next week. I have some decisions to make. I will be taking chemistry and biology which scares me because that's two big scary classes at once. I also have to fulfill the one year language proficiency requirement. I am going to take a test to see how much I currently know, and if it's less than a year then I have to take spanish to graduate. I am also hoping to finish my university requirements by taking core classes (generic arts & humanities type classes) next year as well. If I end up testing out of spanish, then I am thinking about taking just 12 credits/ 3 classes next year to take some of the pressure off of the two science classes. I also will hopefully have two jobs so that will be a lot to do at once. However, I could also finish my physics minor or start my psychology minor. And I feel guilty taking only 3 classes when I could be taking 4 and finish school that much earlier. Choices choices. Ugh. I will have to think about this for a little bit.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

It's National Teacher's Day

Today my physics professor kindly told us that today is National Teacher's Day and we should all email a favorite teacher of ours. So, in light of the occasion.....

Mrs. Kennedy,
Today is National Teachers’ Day and I wanted to thank you for being my teacher. I learned so much in your class. I really feel like your class set me up for the success that I have today. Not only did you teach me math and reading, but also organizational skills that I still use in my classes. I remember working with Crossing the River with Dogs and learning to think through difficult problems systematically. You taught me to think that way, and not to give up when I am given a difficult problem. That became especially useful in my first semester of college physics!
I also feel that I developed my love for learning in your class. I remember being frustrated with a particular difficult problem, and feeling pride when I mastered it. That is what I love about learning. Many books that I was introduced to in Honors Reading are still my favorites. I can’t count how many times I have read Number the Stars and The Giver! And overall, I had a good time in Honors, which made me happy to be at school.
I am almost finished with my first year at the University of Denver. My major is biochemistry (and a minor in Psychology and Physics). I don’t know if you could tell when I was younger, but I believe that my brain is hard-wired for science and math. Although I think in elementary school remember that I was much better at reading than math. I had such a hard time with pre-algebra in sixth grade. That has definitely changed! I hope to use my degree to do research for pharmaceutical companies and develop new medications to help people.
I will always remember you as one of my favorite and most influential teachers. I hope you tell all your students that they are lucky to have you as their teacher. And that they will have wonderful memories from your class for the rest of their lives.

Sincerely,
Rachel Burton

Thanks Mrs. Kennedy! You rock!

Monday, May 5, 2008

I am so so so excited!

In less than a year, one of my very best friends is getting married. And I'm a bridesmaid! I have never been in a wedding before and I am so happy for Beth and Jake and I think they deserve the most beautiful wedding ever. I am excited that I get to be part of all the planning and preparations and the wedding shower and the bachelorette party and makeup and hair and getting dressed that day and everything. It's going to be beautiful. Beth is going to be beautiful! I admire her so much for what she has done the past few years. I don't know many teenagers that could make a life for themselves like she has. She had a son when she was 17 and is such an incredible mom. You can just tell that she loves Tyler more than anything in the world. And she is raising him to be such an awesome little boy. Not only that, but she graduated high school while raising a baby and has a job that she works so hard at and even has a wonderful little house! How many 20 year olds can say that? I am so proud of her for going against all the odds and making such a loving family. And now her and Jake are getting married and I get to be part of it! I can tell how much they love each other and they are such a great team together raising Tyler and everything. And I can be excited for in a few years when she is one of my bridesmaids!

Today in physics, my professor taught us 'gang signs'. Not actually, but it was really funny. He flicked off the whole class. I promise it all was relevant to the physics lesson. It's hard to explain, but you should ask me if you see me. It's hilarious. On a related note, I got another B on a quiz. It's so frustrating!! I just want an A! What do I have to do to get a freakin' A? I'm really afraid that it's too late to get an A now. I'm pretty sure I can get a solid B though. Hopefully.

Last night my grandparents called. I love talking to my grandparents. I think that they are like the closest thing to Mother Teresa left alive on this earth. Seriously. They are the kindest, most generous, loving people I know. I feel lucky to have their genes. Especially because every woman on my grandma's side has lived to be like 97 years old. I'm in it for the long haul.

The Diamondbacks are losing. Badly. I believe it's 10-2 now (in the 8th inning). But I won't turn it off because I guess I'm afraid I'll miss something exciting. Not much chance of that huh. Well then I guess I'll do a little homework before bed.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Happy happy weekend!



I had a great weekend! Lexi drove us all up to Colorado Springs and we checked into our hotel and got all dressed and everything. The resort was absolutely beautiful. It was on a cliff so out our balcony we saw a whole bunch of houses on a mountain over a lake and a golf course. And the weather was gorgeous, if a little cold. At 6:30 we all went to Jimmy's room and had a champagne toast. I love all the people that were there. It was about 10 couples I think, the perfect size. All the girls were gorgeous and all the guys looked so cute in their suits. I hadn't eaten anything ALL DAY so I was starving and it may have been in my head, but I'm pretty sure the champagne got me a little tipsy. But then we went and took pictures overlooking the valley with the wind blowing and everything. Daniel told me I looked beautiful like 5 times (it never gets old). We walked into this little conference room and there were three tables with elaborate place settings and a dance floor in the middle. We had a three-course dinner and I had tea afterwards cause I knew I would need some caffeine to keep me up until 11 while drinking alcohol. Jimmy hired this DJ that was really good so we danced and danced for a while. Lexi, Eric, and I went to Tim's room and had a little drink before we went back to the dance floor. I had vodka and sprite. It was just enough so that I was relaxed when I went back to dance the rest of the night. Daniel was a little upset with me for drinking without him, but we still had a great time. I tell you what, Theta Chi boys can dance! And they can get hot dates too! So by eleven my feet were KILLING me. Some of the couples went to bed, others went to Tim's room to drink some more. I had enough, so Daniel and I went to bed. It was really nice. I felt beautiful and confident and fun. I danced like nothing mattered in the world. And I could swear I burned like 5,000 calories. I think they should make an exercise class that's just dancing.


When I woke up this morning, my head felt kinda stuffy and full. That's the only way I can describe it. All day it's felt pressurized and heavy. And my throat is a little sore. I'm sure it's just allergies, but it sucks. I was in bed watching the Diamondbacks game from 2-5:30. (We lost.) I just sucked it up and got up at 5:30 because Daniel took me out again tonight!


We went to Maggiano's for dinner (I paid) and then went to see A Chorus Line at the Denver Center for Performing Arts. Daniel bought these tickets for me and they were really expensive so I was so thrilled that he did. But we sat waaaay up in the balcony. And after he bought them he discovered that students get half-priced tickets. Oh well, next time. Anyways, the show was great. I love watching really good people dance because I can't dance for anything. I wish I could. But I have talents in other areas.


Unfortunately, not physics. Alas, I have gotten horrible grades (by my extraordinarily high standards) on the last few quizzes and I am very worried that I might get a B or two this quarter. I really really want to keep up my GPA so I am working hard. And on that thought, I think I will go to bed now. Goodnight.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

I should be doing homework

but I'm not. I would much rather blog. The last few days, I have been so glad that I have Daniel here. Being in Boston for a few months really made me appreciate how incredibly lucky I am to have him here pretty much whenever I need him. On Thursday I was having a terrible day, mostly because of the big fat wet snowflakes that were falling (in MAY!!) and at 3:00pm I got to spend 45 minutes with Daniel in between classes and he cheered me up so much. I hope I never take advantage of that ever again. Just the simple pleasure of going out to dinner on the weekend and always having someone to eat dinner with makes me feel really lucky to be here with him. So I guess there was a reason that God put me in Boston for a few months. I'm sure there are many more reasons that I will come to realize in the future, but for now I will be happy for this one.

I also feel really lucky that I get to be Daniel's girlfriend (and hopefully future wife!). I think he is such a unique guy. He treats me like a princess. Seriously. He will do anything for me if he knows it will make me happy. He makes an effort to take me out for dinner every single weekend because he knows I freaking hate the dining hall. He bought me tickets to go see A Chorus Line because I have wanted to go for weeks and weeks. When I'm doing homework, he comes to my room to take a nap because he just likes being near me and listening to my typing. He is always telling me to drink more water, use hand sanitizer, take medicine, etc. because he cares about me. And he's so cute! I feel like I won the boyfriend-lottery.

Tonight we are going to his fraternity's formal. Honestly, I am most excited that I get to wear my pretty prom dress again and that we are probably going to get drunk. Oh, and there is going to be a catered dinner which will be nice too. To prepare for this evening I got my nails done yesterday and it's been so long since they have looked pretty. There's something about shiny painted nails that make me look beautiful no matter how the rest of me looks. That probably comes from biting my nails my whole life. I love it though :-) even if it does get a little expensive.

Last night I had lots of dreams about people back home. I know there was one with my family in it, and we were moving Nicole into a dorm and I think we were in New York City, except that me and my Mom went to the Smithsonian so maybe it was Washington, DC. Well, it's a dream, so I guess the Smithsonians could be in NYC anyways. Then, later, I had a dream with Beth and Jake and Tyler and I think other people from church were there. I think Beth's parents were there, and maybe my grandparents? I don't know I can't remember. But anyways, I woke up feeling surrounded by all these people that I love and I miss them a lot. Only four more weeks before I get to go home and see them all (except my grandparents). After living in a dorm and with all the renovations that my parents have done, my house feels like a five star hotel. I can't wait to have my big room and my beautiful (clean) bathroom. Yet another simple pleasure I hope I will never take advantage of again.

Well I guess I should get to my homework. This post has been long enough anyways.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Weddings

Last night Daniel and I watched a whole bunch of episodes on Food Network and coincidentally, it's wedding week. Which made me want to get married really bad. Like really bad. And now I know basically what I want my wedding cake to look like. (If you want Food Network Challenge: Wedding Cake Surprise, it's the blue and white one by the guy from Phoenix). But, alas, I must wait another four years until Daniel and I graduate from college. Because we're responsible and we know that we're supposed to finish school before we get married. And our parents will financially disown us if we get married before then. And I don't really want to plan a wedding while I'm in school anyways. And I want to have a big, beautiful wedding and I know that my parents will be willing to spend more once I have a degree. Not to mention the fact that I want to live in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood and that's not going to happen if we get married right now. So I will pay my dues in college knowing that in ten years when we are rich I will be happy that I waited. And besides, we're practically living together now. I don't know what it is about the actual being married that I want so bad. Really, it's probably that I want to have kids. But if I want to be rich then that's going to be a long ways off. It sucks being responsible and mature. However, I'm sure there are many people that would be thrilled to be able to go to college and not have to work or worry about money for four years. I seriously have to have this whole conversation with myself at least once a week so that I don't get depressed and frustrated. I just want to get married NOW! No I don't. Yes I do. But I can't.