Friday, February 27, 2009

Happyness

The past few days, I've been really happy. It's really obvious to me when I'm in a good mood, because I wake up in the morning optimistic and excited about the day instead of trying to think of a good reason to miss class and sleep in. I haven't been sleeping well, but last night I slept really well. That may have been due to a certain drink I had that night, but that's okay. I have also had very little homework thanks to all those tests earlier, so I've had lots of free time. That's given me a chance to spend time with my friends. The night before last I was out until almost midnight (on a school night!) making posters for a program that Daniel, Hope, and some other RAs are co-sponsoring.

Last night I went to a Theta Chi recruiting event. We played pool and had dinner at our on-campus sports bar type place called the Pub. I didn't play pool, but I ate and socialized. While we were there, they were playing some really terrible music. That hip-hop stuff with the f-word every other word and extremely vulgar names for women (if you know what I mean). Normally, I would just let it go and ignore it. But after an hour, this really terrible song came on and I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't believe that a University-owned food establishment would play music like that. Especially because DU talks about "diversity" so much, and to become an RA we had to go through this whole class about offensive language and racial slurs. So I went up to the bar and politely asked them to change the music because it was really offensive. I didn't act righteous or arrogant or anything, I just said it very politely. I purposely chose to ask a girl to change it too. I saw her walk over and ask a guy to change the music and he made a face. But I already had my food, so I didn't care what he thought.

After the Pub, we went to one of Daniel's fraternity brother's house. Actually three of his fraternity brothers live there. It was Seth's 22nd birthday. It reminded me of his 21st birthday last year at which I had a great time. And I had a great time last night too. He had beer which I really can't stand, but for all the ladies he thoughtfully provided rum and coke. And the rum was so good! I'll have to remember the name for future parties. I met lots of new people. But, Daniel, Jeff, and I all had class this morning so we left pretty early around 11.

This morning I got my O Chem test back and it was even better than I thought! I got a 94 and the class average was an 83. Much better than our midterm. It made my whole day :-) Then I found out that my biology professor threw out one of our questions on our last test, so I actually got an 82. That didn't really make me that happy. I still feel like I should have done better, but there's nothing I can do now.

Other than that, I've been working all day. Literally two hours on, two hours off since 11am. And it's moms and grandma's weekend, so we have to be on our best behavior. It's so fun to see everyone with their moms. I wish mine was here. But I'll see her in less than a week! For the first time in about 4 years, my entire family will be living under the same roof. It'll only be for like 4 days, but I'm still excited. We're all going to a spring training game together next Thursday. I'm really looking forward to spending some time with the whole family, plus Mike.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Biology

I got my biology test back today, and I'm not thrilled.  I got an 80%.  Which isn't terrible.  But, seriously.  I knew the material.  I knew it front and back and inside out.  I spent HOURS studying.  I did tons of practice questions, read every summary of the chapter, and actually read the chapters themselves.  And still, a B-?  So I am at the point now where I think that this test grade reflects more on my professor's abilities than my own.  The truth is, she is a crappy teacher and an even crappier test writer.  Almost every test she has had to throw out 2-3 questions because every single person got them wrong.  What does that tell you?  It tells me that her questions are poorly written or she isn't teaching us the things she tests us on.  Or both.  Regardless, we have a new professor now and he is great so far.

We are learning all about DNA and how it replicates and a lot of the history of how it was investigated and discovered in the 1950s.  I guess Watson and Crick used some rather underhanded methods to discover the structure of DNA.  Anyways, today he explained all about how our body replicates it in reproduction.  At the end of the lecture he told us about this method that was developed to use in forensics.  When police find a tiny little deposit of DNA left at a crime scene, they can use this method to amplify the DNA and look at it.  It turns out, this is the exact method that I did this summer in my internship.  When he was describing it, I got so excited because now I understand what I was doing.  

Before, I just followed directions kind of like a recipe.  Add 3 microliters of 3' primer, put it in the water bath at 95 degrees, put it in the PCR machine for 23 cycles....  at the time it meant nothing to me.  Just a procedure to follow.  But now, I know what each step did and why it was important.  I wish so much that I had learned all this before my internship!  But it was so exciting to learn how we have been able to learn about how DNA works and use it to our advantage to amplify the DNA to study it.  This is why I love science.  Where other people are bored and falling asleep in class, I am just fascinated at how these complicated intricate processes are happening inside our body every day.  It's amazing.  And though in general science is kind of atheistic, I find that the more I learn about our bodies, the more I feel like there had to be an intelligent creator.  A really REALLY intelligent creator.   I could never come up with this stuff.

End of week 8...  2 weeks to go.  Actually, for me, a week and a half because I'm going to miss the last few days of class for the wedding!!  A week from today I will be at a spring training game.  Then the bachelorette party... wooo!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

One test down, one to go

Well biology is over and I think it went really really well.  Probably a B+, depending on how well everyone else does.  I have spent all weekend studying for chemistry too so I feel really good about that.  I think I'll do some more example problems from each chapter this afternoon, and I'll be set.  Then I have to study for my spanish quiz.  It never stops.  

I fly home in a week for Beth's wedding!  I hope that I will be to the point where I can just forget about school for a weekend and have fun.  I don't want to be doing homework/studying the
 entire time I'm there.  That would suck.  I am so so excited for the bachelorette party, and the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and getting my hair and nails done and putting on a pretty dress and helping Beth get dressed and taking a ton of pictures and walking down the aisle and standing there watching Beth and Jake finally get married!  EEEEEE!!!  I am so jealous.  I want a house and a husband and a child.  By the time I'm there, Tyler will probably be like 10 years old.  Weird.

Anyways, I'm trying to get ahead on all of my schoolwork so I won't have to worry about anything.  I already arranged a makeup spanish quiz with my professor because I told her I couldn't be in class that day.  It's going to totally suck to come back to campus after the wedding for another week.  I'm going to have nothing to do but study.  At least all my friends will be here.  We'll probably do our girls night out thing again, I can look forward to that.

Update on the house:  Daniel has been talking to his parents just about every day.  His mom is executive director of Parenting Arizona and they just had a ton of funding cut by the government.  So they are a little worried that she might lose her job.  If she does, then obviously we aren't getting a house.  Daniel's dad said it was about 50/50 that she would lose her job.  He wants us to keep looking, start meeting with a real estate agent and looking at houses.  He also upped our budget to $225 because he thinks in the current market we can negotiate down the price.  Then Daniel talked to his mom and she was much more encouraging.  She said it's a very slim chance she'll lose her job, and even if she does she is confident she will get another one.  Psychologists are in high demand these days I guess.  And she said that they are both really excited about the house.  They remember their experience buying their first house and they are really happy to be able to help us with this.  I think they're more anxious for us to get married than I am :-)  So they are totally on board.  

And the more we talk about it, the sooner we want to get this going.  Neither Daniel and I want to be RAs next year.  The thing is, we have to tell them if we accept the RA job.  So for now we are going to accept it, and then we'll just quit later. Both of us don't want to be in Phoenix all summer long.  And Hope is looking for a place in Denver for the summer too.  That's three people that would like to have the house ready for summer break.  So right now we're looking at buying in May sometime.  Then we can spend the summer fixing it up and moving in and it'll be all ready when school starts in September.  And we can let them know that we can't be RAs while school is still in so they can find replacements.  The first order of business after we move in--- get a puppy!  I want one so bad.  The sooner we get a house, the sooner we get a puppy.  We are also going to keep asking around to see who else needs a place for the summer and/or the school year.  I really really want Hope and Jeff would be nice too, but he might live with some of Daniel's other fraternity brothers.  I don't think it will be difficult to find roommates though.  We have found 7 beautiful houses within 5 miles of campus with at least 3 bed/2 bath in our price range.  One of them I particularly like.  
It has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (so everyone gets their own), 3 car garage (so everyone can park their car), a fireplace (I personally really want a fireplace), and a front and back deck.  Isn't it cute?  But it's early yet and we have explicit instructions not to fall in love with any houses yet.  Hopefully this weekend we'll start looking.  I'm so excited!  I love this time in my life.  College is awesome.  :-)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

House-Hunting and Studying

I have studying so much for biology and chemistry that they are just about all I can think about. I start reading or watching TV and my mind wanders to enantiomers, photosynthesis, ring-flipping, meiosis, chirality, punnett squares....... my mind just won't stop. I am absolutely determined to do well on these tests. And luckily I work so many hours on the weekends that I have plenty of time to study. But it's like I've become obsessed. Even when I'm not at work, I feel a compulsion to read my textbook or do practice problems. If I don't do well on these tests, I'll just have to give up and resign myself to getting Cs. As many hours as I've spent studying, I should do really really well. There are still a few areas I know I need to study more or at least look over right before the test. I made a list of them so that morning while I'm eating my cheerios I can look them over. But hopefully I can get them down before then. Monday is biology and Wednesday is chemistry.

This weekend I have also been house-hunting with Daniel. This is going to be more difficult than we thought. There are 2-3 neighborhoods near campus that are about 300,000, and one neighborhood that has million dollar homes. So we have to look a little further from campus to find ones in our budget. We found a really great house in a beautiful neighborhood only 3 miles from campus for about $170,000. It had a pretty new kitchen and bathrooms, 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It didn't have a garage which would make it difficult for 3 cars to park there. And I would really love to have a fireplace. Another house in the neighborhood was selling for $250, so I think it just needed some fixing up or the owners were pretty desperate. Daniel and I drove past it and the whole neighborhood has cute little houses with flowers growing in the front yard and kids riding their bikes. It looked like nobody was living in it. But when we checked yesterday, the listing was gone so it may have sold. It doesn't really matter anyways, because Daniel's parents aren't ready to buy right now. Which makes me even more frustrated. Why are we looking if it's going to be a few months before they are even going to think about putting in an offer? There are very few houses in our budget and even fewer within 5-10 miles of campus. Most houses around here are for rent because that's generally what attracts students. So it seems that this is going to be a difficult and very long-term project.

I think Daniel's parents want him to accept the RA job until they decide what they're going to do. I hate that. I think it's so rude to accept a job and then quit during the summer, or even after one quarter. It leaves HRE to have to hire whoever's left and then those people wouldn't have gone through training like us. Not to mention it doesn't leave our past employers with a nice happy feeling about us. But we don't have much of a choice. Our decision depends upon their decision. It's not fair. I don't want to accept the job and then quit. I want to know what we're doing next year now.

I hate not being in control of things and having to rely on Daniel's parents. They are being so generous and of course I'm grateful, but I also want to make my own decisions about things. I have grown up with very different ways of doing things than Daniel and his family. My family tends to go for more expensive things to get better quality, while Daniel's family values cheaper over quality. I'm afraid that with a budget of $200,000 we will end up with a complete dump in a terrible neighborhood really far from campus. But I can't exactly tell his parents that I don't like this house or that house because if they're paying then I just have to go along with it. It just makes me more excited to graduate college and get a job so I can be independent and self-reliant.

I think I'm just in a terrible mood because I'm hungry and I've been working and studying for the past 4 hours. Just a small disclaimer. So don't listen to anything I've said.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Decisions

I think I finally have a handle on things. I have a biology mid-term on Monday, and chemistry on Wednesday. So this weekend is going to be a lot of studying. I spent probably 2-3 hours yesterday reading my biology textbook. I have not read one single chapter of it this entire year. And surprise! It actually helped me understand the material. Though I find that I can't read it for more than about 30 minutes without falling asleep. An unfortunate side effect. After I read the textbook, I did the end-of-the-chapter questions and got most of them wrong. But the important thing is that I know why they were wrong and I know what the right answers are. And then I went to the online companion website to the book and watched a bunch of really dorky animations and tutorials. I'm at the point in biology when most of the new terms we learn sound like they're in an other language. Like deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). And ribulose bisphosphate (RuBP). So when Daniel hears the narrator of the animation say them, he laughs.

Last night at 11pm Nelson staff went to Perkins. It's kind of like Denny's or Coco's. I've never heard of it before, apparently it's a Denver thing. Anyways, it was really fun. Thursday nights are basically like party night on campus so we joked that everyone was going to go crazy when they realized that every single RA is out of the building for a couple hours. Actually, two RAs stayed behind to take care of incident reports. I was the only one that went that is not on staff, but everyone considers me on staff anyways. There are actually some residents that don't even realize I'm not an RA. It's kind of funny because they won't break any rules in front of me because they think I can document them. But I can't.

Yesterday Daniel talked to his mom about next year. He told her that he's really not that excited about being an RA next year, and you know what his mom said? She said, well then, let's get a house for you! That's what I've wanted all along. Most of the reason I was going to be an RA is because I thought we were going to live on campus next year, and I thought I might as well get free room and board if I'm going to. But if Daniel's parents are on board with the whole house thing, then I would definitely prefer that. So the next step is to talk to his Dad and find out exactly what our budget is and what we're looking for. And then.... house-hunting! We have to decide if we're going to do this in the next 2 weeks because that's when Daniel has to commit to being an RA or not. And I find out on March 6 where (if) I'll be offered a position.

Jessica talked to her fellow pro-staff about having couples on staff together and it seems it will be a difficult battle for her to put both of us on her staff next year. Some other staff members are really dead-set against it. A part of me will be really happy to say to them "well, if you won't put us on the same staff, then we'll just move off campus and live together and there's nothing you can do about it!" It makes me so angry that they have this rule and they won't even consider our situation. I mean, what are they afraid of? We're not going to break up anytime soon. And we aren't so focused on each other that we neglect our jobs or the rest of the staff. We've proved that this year. It seems so juvenile and childish that they have to separate us just because we are a couple. We are almost engaged, we are 20 years old and in a committed, mature, stable relationship. But none of that matters to them.

One of the problems with getting a house is finding housemates. We have plenty of friends that are looking for places to live next year, but they are all going abroad in the fall. I don't think his parents can afford for us to not have housemates for the first quarter. I talked to Hope last night and she said that she would LOVE to live with us when she gets back from London in January. And Jeff is also looking for a place to live. We know that we get along really well with both of them and it would be so much fun to live together. But, they will both be abroad in the fall. So we have to find someone who we know and like, who needs a place to live just for the fall. And I havn't okayed this with my parents for sure yet. I mean, we have discussed it, but I don't know how they will feel about paying Daniel's parents for my housing. Although, it's my grandparents that will be paying for it, and they love Daniel and in general let me make my own decisions about things. So we'll see. I hate not knowing where I'm going to live next year. But thinking about a house where we could have friends over and cook dinner and share a room without breaking any rules and not have to follow anyone's rules but our own and not have to find a place to store our stuff over breaks....... I can't wait :-)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Estress and Estrain

I continue to get more and more overwhelmed and frustrated with school.  I just can't seem to bring my grades up.  They keep going down and down and down.  I got an 81% on my spanish test.  That's the worst grade I have ever gotten on a spanish test.  Next week I have a chemistry and biology test.  I have already started studying a lot for those.  I am absolutely determined to get good grades.  I really need something like that to encourage me.  At this point I have even contemplating changing my major to something else.  Biology in particular seems to be so difficult.  I try so hard to concentrate in class and I study the material, but somewhere there's a disconnect.  I can't spit it back out on tests.  We took a 7 question quiz and I got like 5-6 of them wrong.  Good thing our two lowest quizzes are dropped or I would be freaking out right now.  I have spent every free moment this week studying and doing homework.  I hate that because I wake up in the morning in a terrible mood because all I have all day is classes, studying, homework, and more of the same.  And no matter how much I study, my grades don't improve.  

In light of all this, my registration strategy for next quarter has changed.  I have thought seriously about how to decrease my work load so that I can really concentrate on my important (science) classes and get good grades.  Luckily after this quarter I am done with spanish.  I realy enjoy psychology and child development so that will be my fun class, though it will also be a lot of work I'm sure.  Then I'll take biology and chemistry.  Art history and choir are still up in the air.  I'm not registered for either one right now, but that may change.

Other than that, I've been spending some time with friends.  I helped Daniel and his fraternity brothers plan their formal.  We are going to have it up in Estes Park at the exact spot Daniel and I hope to get married!  Their reunion cabin is perfect for formal.  It's one price for the kitchen, dining room, dance floor, and bedrooms for all the guests.  We'll all be in one spot together.  And, unlike many other big cabins we looked at, they will allow us to rent it for just one night.  Daniel called and they had exactly one Saturday open, and that was the exact Saturday that Theta Chi wanted!  It worked out perfectly.  Since the reservations are in Daniel's name (we didn't want to really tell them that it was a fraternity party), we will get to go up and take pictures before everyone else gets there.  I think it will be really fun.  But it's not until April 11.  I'm trying to get Hope and a few of my other girl friends to go so it will be more fun for me. Apparently some of the guys have already invited a bunch of Delta Zetas to come with them.  I don't know any of them though.  Tonight I'm going to one of my floor events.  Kaitlynne and Nikki planned a program to teach their residents how to make dumplings!  I'm excited.  It sounds delicious.  And I don't get to cook very often, so it'll be nice to get into the kitchen and cook a little.  

Today I bought a kit to make molecular models for organic chemistry.  My professor uses them all the time in class and I couldn't really do my homework without them, so I gave in and bought it.  It's kind of fun holding up this model and turning it all different directions and rotating the bonds.  It makes me look really smart too :-)  My professor said we could use it on the test, so hopefully it will really help.  But then again, we only have 50 minutes for the test so I can't be sitting there taking it apart and putting it together for every single problem.  But it will help on the homework anyways.

The title of this blog entry makes me laugh.  Nobody else gets it, but I do and it makes me laugh.  And that's all that matters.  You know what else makes me laugh?  This video: 

Sunday, February 15, 2009

More Planning Europe

Ever since I talked to my grandparents about Europe, I have been super super excited! A little tiny part of me wasn't sure it would happen, depending on how much my Grandparents were willing to help us. Well since they are helping us a lot, it's definitely happening! So today I looked at Rome. There is so much to do there. It looks like we'll spend three days actually in Rome, and one day on a day trip to Pompeii. We weren't sure how to get there by ourselves, so we looked at AAA tours that go there from Rome and there are a bunch! They're not too expensive, either. So I think we'll let AAA do the hard work and planning for us on that trip. While we were there, we looked for champagne tours that leave out of Paris. We wanted to go to the Champagne district and tour some vineyards, but it's hard to get transportation there by train. So again we looked at AAA and they have a wonderful tour that goes to 2 different vineyards in Reims (the capital of Champagne). Since we were looking at those tours, I couldn't help but look at all the other tours.

One in particular caught my eye. It's basically "how to propose in Paris for dummies." For details, go here
http://www.affiliate.viator.com/brochure/product_show.jsp?CODE=5023LOVE&ID=1010&PRODUCTID=1016&AUID=5322&SUBAUID=006&EMAIL=webmaster%40colorado.aaa.com&ETS=DCAF72898B894

You can pick from 4 or 5 different ways to say I love you. There's one where people sneak into your hotel room and decorate it with 150 teddy bears (I would hate that one). Another one takes you up in a plane over Disneyland Paris and another plane flies by with your personal message written on its wings. And during this you're drinking champagne and listening to your favorite love song through your helmet. Very elaborate (and expensive) schemes. I think I prefer a thought-out, personal, genuine proposal over something that he just paid an exorbitant amount of money for someone else to think up and make happen.

Anyways, other tours look really awesome and we're going to have to think about which ones are actually worth the extra expense. There's one that gets you straight to the front of the line to get into Vatican City and gives you a private tour. You can also pay for an audience with the Pope. A similar tour gets you to the front of the line and a 2.5 hour tour of the Louvre. I think we might do that one. Getting to the front of the line might be worth the cost itself. And then after the tour, we can go back and spend more time looking at what we want to. There's also a bike tour that goes into the country and you stop and have a picnic by the Seine and then take a tour of Monet's house and gardens. That sounds heavenly to me. I love gardens and countryside. And Monet is one of my favorite artists. His paintings are just so beautiful! Daniel really liked one tour that takes you to a three-course dinner and then a show at Moulin Rouge. It's like $200 a person, but for a three-course gourmet meal and tickets to Moulin rouge, that doesn't sound so expensive. But I don't know if it's really worth it. So many options! On one hand, I feel like if we're there, we should go for it and experience everything we possibly can. But on the other hand, we're on a budget so we can't just do whatever we want. This is so difficult! Vacations are a lot of work.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Day of Love

Today was so much fun! When I went down to the car, there was a note that said "how about lunch at Maggiano's? Pick me up at the music school on your way there." So I drove over and he was waiting outside.

I found out that this morning before I even woke up, he had planted all the different notes, bought flowers and put them at the front desk for me, gotten a hair cut, and tried to get the car washed at two different places. I guess when it's below freezing, car washes close. It was really really cold today. It barely got above 30 degrees. Anyways, he had done all of that stuff before I even woke up! I was amazed.

So I picked up Daniel and we drove to my favorite restaurant Maggiano's. It's at this mall downtown. We got there pretty early, so we had time to stop in Banana Republic and do a little shopping! They were having a big sale, so I couldn't resist buying Daniel a really nice shirt for Valentine's Day. Then we had lunch at Maggiano's. It was so delicious (as usual). I love that place! We purposely saved half our meal for lunch tomorrow.

Then we drove to the Denver Art Museum. I have never been there, but lots of my friends have and they all said it was great. It's huge! The building looks really strange because there's not one right angle in the whole thing. I think it's ridiculous to sacrifice functionality for "art," but I'm a scientist so my opinion doesn't matter. Anyways, they had 7 floors and two buildings of exhibits. We started on the second floor with modern art and oceanic art. That was pretty boring. Up one floor was a whole exhibit on the human form. There were paintings, sculptures, and other mediums all of the human body. One painting looked like a photograph, it was so realistic! Another painting was of three young black men in their street clothes matching the pose of another famous painting from the renaissance era. This artist is famous for going into the street and asking ordinary black people to come into his studio and pose for him. It was really cool. The most famous piece that the museum has is this really life-like sculpture of a woman. It's called "Linda" and she's laying down with her face down and a cloth draped over her strategically. It looked so real, I expected her to get up and talk to us! It was almost embarrassing like we accidentally walked in on her sleeping naked in the museum. Weird. There was also a small exhibit of these modern chairs. All different really strange shapes and colors. My favorite exhibit was the European art. There were rococo and neoclassical paintings from the renaissance era that were just beautiful. I love seeing the clothes they wore and the elaborate fabrics and furniture in the paintings. Next to that was an exhibit of beautiful quilts. Then there was a whole room of old furniture. Really ornate mirrors, vases, chairs, armoires, and desks. I so wish that furniture like that was still made today.

We had to come back to school because Daniel worked at 3 and I worked at 5. While I worked at the desk from 5-7, Daniel went to the grocery store and bought food and made us dinner. It was so delicious! The whole day was so much fun. I felt so cultured going to an art museum and it was so nice that Daniel and I can enjoy stuff like that together. I'm really glad we have so many of the same interests. After dinner we watched "Runaway Bride," but I had to go back to work. So here I am. I'll probably get a lot of homework done tonight. What a fun day!

A mysterious morning

When I woke up this morning, Daniel was already gone!  There was a note next to the bed that said "Dear Rachel, I hope you got a good night's sleep, because today is going to be a very busy day.  There is something waiting for you at the front desk, go get it right now, before you do anything else.  Happy Valentines Day, I love you."  At the desk was a vase of beautiful roses and another note that said "Go home, shower, and get beautiful for a very special and memorable day.  You will be doing a lot of walking.  You don't need anything except your keys and your license.  Go to our car at 10:25am to find your next directions."  Hmmm.... I think this will be a very interesting day.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Whew!

Well today was much better than yesterday.  It was almost like a day off of school.  No chemistry, biology was optional, spanish was a test that only took like 30 minutes, no NATS, and then Physics after dinner.  I did end up going to biology because I wasn't 100% sure it was optional, and I didn't want to miss anything important.  It ended up being really helpful.  We're doing photosynthesis right now which is quite a complicated process.  So the entire class was us asking questions and her answering them.  There were only maybe 25 people there which is a lot less than our usual 80-90 so I got to ask many questions.  Then at the end she asked us a couple example test questions and I understood all of them really well.  I feel so much better about that material.  Too bad it's only one chapter out of 4 on our next test.  The spanish test went really well, so I was happy about that.  

Poor Daniel is getting sick.  I can tell when he's sick because he snores really loud at night.  It sounds so painful on his throat.  I don't know what to do to make him stop snoring.  It's keeping me awake at night, but he gets really mad when I wake him up and tell him he's snoring.  He just says "no, you're snoring."  It's kind of funny actually.  When he woke up his voice was pretty hoarse and he didn't feel well.  I'm glad because it means he stayed home a lot more today. :-)

Every Thursday he has a meeting with his boss, Jessica.  Today she told him to let me know that I could come talk to her about my RA interview.  She knows the person who is interviewing me and had some ideas of things to say, and more importantly, not to say.  I am so glad I went and talked to her.  I realized that I had not thought about what I was going to say at all.  Jessica gave me some really good things to say and I have thought about some more things to say.  I didn't realize how competitive it is.  It sounds like about half the applicants will be offered positions.  But I don't want any old RA position, I want to be in Nelson or Nagel.  So I have to emphasize certain things that are only in Nelson and Nagel to make sure I get those buildings.  Unfortunately, there's a good chance that Daniel will get either Nelson or Nagel, and they probably won't put us on the same staff.  So that leaves just one building that I can be hired in.  I really hope I get the building I want.  Ideally, Daniel would be DM of Nagel and I would be an RA in Nelson.  That way we would both live in Nelson, and he would work right next door.  He would get one of the beautiful apartments on the fifth floor too.  A close second would be both of us getting RA in Nelson, but that's a long shot.  Jessica said that if we are engaged, that would help our situation, but she still can't guarantee we would be on the same staff.

Daniel has big plans for Valentine's Day and he won't tell me anything.  I know that he won't propose, because he doesn't have the ring yet.  I'm super excited though.  Daniel is such a romantic and he comes up with so many great ways to surprise me.  I can think of so many times in the past that he has made me so happy by surprising me.  I know that it will take "all day" as Daniel has said, and I'm going to get some sort of mystery "wake-up call" and it will end with him making me dinner.  It sounds very suspicious, but I'll just have to wait and see.  Stay tuned and I'll write all about it!

Now I'm off to Starbucks and a show with Hope.  One of her friends in the Theatre department is putting on a show tonight about dating and love.  It should be really good.  I love this time of year.  Everything is about LOVE!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Thorough Analysis

I have calmed down a little bit since earlier this afternoon and now I can sort of explain what happened.  Last week I had four mid-terms.  It was my first test in organic chemistry and physics.  My second test in biology and spanish.  I haven't taken a chemistry test in like 3 years, so it was a lot to handle all at once.  My first spanish test I got an A which was expected.  My first biology test of the quarter I got exactly the average, a C.  So I figured, not great, but I have another chance to bring it up.  I'll just do better next time. 

I left for the weekend for a well-needed vacation after all those tests.  When I came back, I got all my tests back.  I got an 89 on spanish which is like the lowest score I've ever gotten on a spanish test.  I expect better from  myself.  Then I got an email from my chemistry professor telling me I got 80/125 on my midterm.  That's a 64%.  I almost had a heart attack.  So I went to his office to pick up my test and take a look at it.  He sat down with me and went through the entire test.  He explained to me that although it looks like a really low score (you think?), I actually didn't do that badly.  The average was a 61%.  Wow.  So I still beat the average.  He said that he could tell I understood the material based on my homework that I turned in, but maybe the stress of the test got to me a little and I wasn't as careful as I should have been.  There was a question or two that he told me I was one of only a couple people that got it right.  Then he showed me what I did wrong on all the rest.  It was nice to see exactly what I did wrong.  I couldn't believe he was so patient and did all of that for me.  He really is a great professor.  He also told me that though he doesn't exactly curve grades, a 64% will probably not be my final grade on this test.  And he has a policy where if the final exam score is higher than any one of the mid-terms, it counts for that mid-term instead.  So there is not one person who couldn't still get an A in the class.  I left his office feeling much encouraged.

Then this morning, I got my biology test back.  This is the one I felt the most confident about.  I studied a lot for it, and felt like I knew the material.  I got a 79% after the curve.  That is NOT good.  So after two tests, I have a C average in the class.  That is unacceptable.  I cannot get a C.  There are two mid-terms left, and a final exam for me to bring up my grade.  And I need to do really really well on every test that's left.

I haven't gotten my physics test back yet.  But my professor said that he doesn't like to give out any grades below a C.  Whatever that means.  He really wasn't clear at all.  I'm not sure if he's going to curve them, or just add like 10% to every grade to get them all above a C, or what.  But it seemed like I was more confident about my test than most of the others in the class.  

Today in lab I talked to my O Chem TA and he said that a 60% average on an O Chem mid-term is not unusual.  It's actually about right.  So I shouldn't be really upset about a 64%.  I'm sorry, but I will NEVER be okay with a D on a mid-term.  The other O Chem class (taught by a different professor) had an 80% average.  That's crazy.  They had a completely different test, so I can't really compare my score to that average.  It's not fair though. 

I feel a little calmer than I did earlier today, but something has to change.  I haven't quite figured out what exactly.  I have thought about forcing myself to study for 30 minutes for each class every day.  But that's a whole 2 hours and honestly I don't know what I would do for 30 minutes.  Just read my notes until I remember it?  But obviously my current study methods aren't working.  Now I have to think about next quarter and what I'm going to do.

Because of choir, NATS class that I TA for, and my labs, my schedule is very limiting.  I have to take my chemistry and biology classes which is 9-11am.  Then I have labs Monday and Wednesday 2-5 and 2-6pm.  And I have NATS Tuesday and Thursday 2-4pm.  So that leaves everyday 11am-2pm open.  I need to have lunch from 11am-12pm, so now I'm down to 12-2.  My possibilities are Core and Psychology.  Child Development is MW 12-2.  Done.  Now I have one more class that HAS to fit in TR 12-2 slot.  None of the core classes or psychology classes sound interesting.  The one possibility is statistics for psychologists which sounds terribly boring.  So I could just take 14 credits (including choir).  My parents think that's a great idea.  But, I also thought that maybe I should take an art history class before we go to Europe so that I will have background information about all the art we're seeing.  There's one art history class at the women's college on Wednesday nights from 6pm-9:30pm.  Eek.  That's a  loooong time to be looking at paintings and analyzing them.  And with all my other classes, plus NATS and choir and work, maybe 14 credits would be a good idea.  But then I would really like to have more knowledge about art before we go to Europe.  So I don't know.  Maybe I shouldn't take choir and that will free up another 4 hours a week.  But I like choir.  Or rather, I like performing at the end of the quarter and having a class with a bunch of my girl friends.  I don't know what to do!!  I have exactly one week to decide.

I have also thought about signing up for choir and art history and then just dropping one if I decide after the first week or two that it's too much or I don't like the class.  Any input?

Major stress

I am about one step away from having a complete and utter anxiety attack. I have terrible grades in all my classes, I forgot to turn in my chemistry homework this morning, I have to figure out my schedule for next quarter, I have a spanish test tomorrow with about a million vocabulary words to memorize. I feel so overwhelmed. Not because I have a lot of homework, but just because I feel like no matter what I do I can't get good grades and I'm going to get Cs this quarter and that's going to bring down my GPA and I really don't want that! I can't concentrate in any of my classes because all I can think about it how horrible my mid-term grades were and what I need to do to bring up my grades and how many tests I have until the end of the quarter. Basically I have to get like 100% on every single test I have for the rest of the quarter. That's a lot of pressure. I am freaking out!

Now I'm thinking about all this and maybe I need to cut back on hours at work, or take less classes next quarter. How am I going to handle all this stress and be an RA next year? I just keep adding more and more. Maybe I shouldn't take choir, but I really want to. Maybe I should quit one of my jobs, but I want the money. Maybe I should take less credits, but that's a waste of tuition money and it will take me longer to graduate. But I don't know if I can keep going with the schedule I have right now.

Monday, February 9, 2009

What a Weekend!

I had such a great weekend.  It was definitely everything I wanted it to be.  Friday morning was really stressful.  I got up early to take my mid-term before everyone else so I could make it to the airport on time.  I went to my professor's office at 8am where she told me to meet her.  Nobody was there.  I knocked on her door and.... no answer.  I panicked.  I called Daniel, but he was asleep so he wasn't much help.  I called my mom and she calmed me down.  She told me to leave a note with my cell phone number so she knows I was there and she can call me and tell me to come if she's just a few minutes late.  I waited until 8:15 and she finally showed up.  I was so glad because I knew I would be worrying about it all weekend if I didn't take the test then.  I think I did really well too.  Then I went back to Daniel's and grabbed my stuff.  His fraternity brother drove me to the airport and that was it!  My dad picked me up from the airport.  We stopped at In-N-Out (I really miss it) for lunch.  My mom made a manicure appointment for us (she knows me too well) so we did that and then my entire family came over for dinner.

That evening, Mom took out great grandma's wedding rings which she finally got from Aunt Shirley.  The engagement ring has one large diamond in the middle and four little ones on the sides, and the wedding band has nine small diamonds on it.  They decided to split up the diamonds among the three great-grandchildren (me, my sister, and our cousing Amy).  To be fair, they thought that they couldn't give me the large diamond and not Nicole, so Amy get the big one and the small ones will be split between Nicole and me.  She told me that her and Julie (Daniel's mom) went to the jewelry store last weekend to see what they could do with the small diamonds.  Julie also has a diamond necklace that she offerred us for the engagement ring.  So I guess they decided to use Julie's diamond for the engagement ring and we can use the small diamonds on Great Grandma's ring for the wedding band.  I think.  They weren't really clear on what they decided.  

The big news that day is that my brother was enlisting in the army.  He left at 5am and got home at 6pm.  He had to go through a bunch of tests and physicals and stuff and was sworn in.  He was exhausted when he got home.  My grandparents were there and Uncle George and Aunt Shirley.  They were all happy to see me, and I was really happy to see them too.  We had a delicious (home-cooked) dinner.  After dinner me and my mom watched Mamma Mia.  It's the perfect mother daughter movie.    I was falling asleep so we didn't quite finish it.

The next morning I went with my mom to a UMW thing at church.  They had a guest speaker come and talk about "Humane Borders" which is the group that puts out water jugs for immigrants crossing the border in the dessert.  His talk was really interesting regardless of your view on immigration.  Then we left to go downtown and have lunch with Sarah.  It was so great to see her even just for a few hours.  It's important to me to keep up with my childhood friends.  And the lunch was delicious!  Lucky us that Sarah chose spaghetti factory to work at.  It was so yummy!  Then mom and I went home and made up a couple dinners for Chris and Aimee.  We went over to their house to meet their brand new baby girls.  It was perfect because me and my mom got to sit there and each hold one for hours.  Olivia was asleep practically the entire time and Sarah was making all these funny faces.  I love how her little head fit right in the palm of my hand.  But, like Aimee said, they're a little boring at this age.  They're really cute and all, but I remember when Tyler started crawling and walking and he said and did the funniest things.  So I can't wait until they're a little older like this summer.  Then I went over to Daniel's houes to have dinner with his family.  Evan was there with his girlfriend Kristy and her mom.  We had another delicious dinner.  I always enjoy spending time with his parents.  They have interesting views on things that are usually different from my view.  Julie refused to give me anymore information about the diamond or anything.  She wants it to be a surprise, which I appreciate.  I want it to be a surprise too!

I fully intended to go to church on Sunday, but I couldn't get up.  Too early.  We made plans to go to lunch with Grandma and Grandpa so that Aunt Kathy who is in town from Rhode Island could see me.  She is really old and practically deaf, so it's difficult to hold a conversation, but it was nice to see her anyways.  After we ate, everyone left but my grandparents, me, and my mom, to discuss the Europe funding situation.  After a long conversation in which my grandpa made it clear that he doesn't want to make this "too easy" on us and "spoil" me, it was agreed that they would match whatever Daniel and I managed to save towards the trip.  That's a huge relief and very exciting!  That means we are already halfway to our goal and we still have 6 months to save!  Grandma and Grandpa told me that they love Daniel and they think it's great that I have someone like him to go with me to Europe.  They think this will be a wonderful educational experience (not just the trip, but also saving money and learning how to search for the best prices, and planning the trip).  So it's really going to happen!  After lunch we went to Beth's wedding shower.  I was so happy that I got to go to one.  I felt so bad for Beth because it's really awkward being the center of attention like that.  It makes me really not want to have a wedding shower.  But she got so many gifts that I would have loved.  Daniel and I had to spend so much money in August just to be able to bake cookies or cook pasta and we got all our dishes from Goodwill.  Someday we will get all brand new stuff for our wedding shower too.  And I got to see Tyler!  I miss him so much sometimes and I cannot believe that he is already 4.  He's not even a baby or a toddler anymore, he's a kid.  Weird.  And I must say it's kind of strange seeing him call Beth "mommy."  After that we went to the Cylwik's house to have dinner and talk about our summer plans.  Their son just proposed to his girlfriend after dating for 2 months.  They're crazy if you ask me.  But I'm probably a bad person to ask.

So back to my brother, he took a test this weekend that told the army that he is able to learn languages well enough to put him into the Arabic program at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey.  I guess it's a pretty prestigious program and he had to score really high to get into it.  But he did, and he's off to basic training on March 10.  He will go to South Carolina for 9 weeks and then to Monterey to go to the DLI to learn Arabic for a whole year.  So I won't see him a whole lot in the next year.  But he's really excited about it.  So I'm excited for him.

Now I have a ton of classes to make up and homework to do and I still don't know what I got on any of my mid-terms.  I don't really want to know.  I don't think I did well on many of them.  This quarter is probably my hardest yet.  And it just gets harder.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Venting my Stress

I had about a million things to do today and I sort of had a mini-break down this afternoon.  Unfortunately, Daniel ends up being the person that I usually take it out on.  But he's so great, he understands that it's just because I'm stressed and instead of getting upset with me for snapping at him, he just asks what he can do to help.  And he even offerred to cook dinner for me tonight since he's going to miss me so much when I'm gone this weekend.  It was delicious too!  I had to do some homework that I completely forgot about until like an hour before it was due.  I also wanted to do laundry since I won't be here this weekend to do it, and pack, and print out my boarding pass, find a ride to the airport (which turned out to be very difficult), and I had to find time to study for my biology mid-term.  Besides all that, I was majorly stressed out because I had a physics mid-term tonight that I was really nervous for.  Poor Daniel.  He has to listen to me complain and stress out and then I get upest with him.  I try so hard not to, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed.  Luckily for him, I was also in a really good mood because I'm going home!  I'm going to make brownies, and cookies, and cinnamon rolls, and pumpkin bread, and basically just stay in the kitchen all weekend and bake.

Last night Daniel spent a lot of time with his friend Jeff (who we discovered did not tell on us after all.... though I'm not convinced he didn't have anything to do with it at all).  And they were talking about how he's going to propose.  I guess Jeff made him watch like 5 different proposal scenes in different movies.  They discussed all the possibilities like public or private, etc.  So when he came home he asked me.  I told him that I definitely want him to talk to my parents and grandparents first.  He thinks that's really old-fashioned and unnecessary, but it's important to me.  And I also want it to be in private.  I don't like the idea of him getting down on one knee and everyone around us stopping what they're doing and staring at us and clapping and stuff.  That's too much attention and pressure for me.  And finally, I want it to be in a situation where I can go show my friends and family afterwards.  Ideally, he would plan to have both of our families waiting to have dinner with us that night or something like that.  I definitely don't want it to be in some ordinary place like in his room or out to dinner at a place we go to all the time in Denver.  It should be something more special than that I think.  I may be overthinking this whole process slightly, but it's a story that I'm going to tell my kids and everyone else for a long time, so it should be well thought out.  Actually, now that I think about it, I don't even know how my dad proposed to my mom.  Or how my grandpa proposed to my grandma.  I don't think my grandparents made it a big deal.  They were really young, I know that.  And my grandpa was going off to basic training so it was probably a logistical thing more than a romantic thing.  I don't want that at all.

Well I'm pretty much packed, and super excited!  I'm going to Phoenix where it's nice and sunny and warm!  It's kind of funny that it was almost 70 degrees here today!  It's like Phoenix came here to greet me!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Hello, Mid-terms!

It's officially mid-terms week. I have 4, yes FOUR mid-terms this week. That means one test on Monday, another on Wednesday, another one on Thursday, and finally another on Friday. And I didn't even realize that until, like, yesterday. I have been majorly focused on my first Chemistry test tomorrow morning, and I didn't even realize that I have a physics test the next day. I did know that I had a biology test on Friday, but it kind of snuck up on me too. And I never worry about Spanish. I study the vocab words the night before and I usually get a 95%. As of now, I have completed my spanish test. I have spent hours of today and yesterday studying for chemistry, and I feel about 80% prepared right now. There are a couple concepts that I need to look over just to get them in my brain. I think I've pretty much given up on understanding acid/base chemistry. How am I supposed to know which one is the stronger acid? That's why there are tables with that kind of information. So I have resigned myself to getting those particular problems wrong, and hopefully making up for them by getting everything else 100% right. It's a long shot, but it's all I've got. I have shamefully missed two chemistry classes already this quarter. Something about Monday mornings makes me really really not want to get out of bed and I end up sleeping in sometimes. Luckily my professor lectures right out of the textbook, so I'm usually fine if I read that chapter extra carefully. Actually, I ended up reading pretty much all the chapters just because it helps me understand it better. I don't know why I'm more worried about this test than all the others. Maybe because it's my first chemistry test in 3 years. But also, I think it's because I really respect my professor and I don't want him to think he did a bad job teaching me. And of course I want the good grade, but that goes without saying.

I am second most worried about my physics final. And that is entirely the professor's fault. He barely speaks english, so I'm afraid that his questions will be difficult to understand. He also makes a lot of mistakes when he's doing example problems, so there is a definite possibility that he will make mistakes writing the test as well. And we have never seen what one of his problems look like. He gives us homework problems out of the textbooks. I have been able to do the homework with no problem, so I feel like I should be able to pass a test on the same material. But unless he gives us problems out of the book (which I have asked repeatedly and he keeps saying no) then I have never ever seen an example problem like what will be on the test. Oh, I take that back. He gave us a quiz last week. It had one question. And after staring at it for about 10 minutes, I randomly circled an answer and turned it in. It was a disaster. But I think everyone in the class had that same reaction, so that's kind of good.

The good thing that comes out of mid-terms week is.... the end of mid-terms week. When I go home this weekend, I will have just finished four tests which means no new material which means no homework and no test to study for. I will be able to completely enjoy my weekend. And I already have lots of plans! Dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Friday night, Lunch at Sarah's work on Saturday, visiting the Wickershams in the afternoon, church Sunday morning and the wedding shower that afternoon. Somewhere in there I need to get my nails done and I have thought about making a doctor's appointment, but I'm sort of torn. I don't really want to waste the time I'm home at the doctor's office, but when I'm at school it's nearly impossible to find time to drive the 30 minutes each way to my doctor here. Did I mention that I am super super excited!!!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Europe Planning

When Daniel and I first decided to plan a trip to Europe, we were so excited. We went to the bookstore that day and bought the first Europe guidebook we saw. Which was stupid because they are a lot cheaper on Amazon. But anyways, we got started right away reading and taking notes and planning our itinerary. Together, we planned all of Spain, all of France, all of Switzerland. Now all we have left is Italy. And for some reason, I'm stuck.

For the other countries, the procedure was to read the guidebook, mark what sounded interesting, then plot them all on google maps. Then we looked at the layout of everything and decided a logical order for things. We also decided what we wanted to do in the morning, afternoon, evening, and night because some things were time specific (like a dinner cruise on the Seine for example). It was pretty systematic, just the way I like it. Now I have gotten to Italy and I am so overwhelmed, I don't know what to do! There are so many things to see and everything is in Italian (obviously) so it's difficult for me to keep everything straight. Honestly it seems like all there is to see in Italy is churches and museums. That's great, but I want to see other stuff too. And there are so many cities. Florence, Venice, Rome, Milan, Siena, Naples, Sicily. How do we decide? We have to see Rome, and probably Florence too. I really want to see Venice, but my mom (and others) say that it's kinda sketchy at night and you don't necessarily want to spend the night there. Plus it's smelly and expensive. Ugh. My goal for this quarter is to plan Italy so that finally, we can start adding up how much everything's going to cost and plan our train routes. That's what I'm most worried about.

I'm also worried about getting there and running out of money. My sister did have a good point though. We should cut our trip down if we don't have enough money. Three weeks in Europe is still awesome. We don't have to go for four necessarily. I think Switzerland would be the first to go, even though I really really want to see Switzerland. Every picture and movie I've seen makes it look like how I imagine heaven. Bright green grass on hills with big snow-covered mountains in the background. Little towns with rows of cute pastel-covered houses and everybody sitting on their porch eating chocolate! Okay, that may be a little idealistic, but it still looks beautiful.

One week from today, I will be home after going to church in the morning, and getting ready for the wedding shower! I'm smiling just thinking about it :-)