Nostalgia

I just spent the last two hours packing up most of my stuff. Even though I am really glad to be going home, I am starting to feel sad. Mostly last night I was sad. At 10 we walked over to Seth and Kyle's house, two of Daniel's fraternity brothers. They live in this cute little house right across the street from a beautiful park. Eric is going to live there next year. So we were in their side yard sitting around the fire. They had tiki torches up, soda, beer, rum, and lots of other stuff, and cake(!) for another fraternity brother's birthday. I really love hanging out with all those guys and going to parties and stuff. All the brothers treat me so nice. They tease me and stuff, but I know they love it that I come to all the parties. And thankfully just a little while later some more girls came so I wasn't the only one. And by midnight there was a good 25 or 30 people. It was really a good time. I have made so many great friends in just the 5 months or so that I've been here. And I was sitting there thinking about how in high school I never went to any parties like this and I can't believe how social I am talking to all these guys and having a great time. Although Daniel kindly pointed out that a big reason I was so social is because I had a large cup of rum and coke. But I don't care, I was having a great time. So this summer I'm going to miss all those guys. I'm sure we'll have plenty of parties to go to, especially because Evan and Mike and all them have a house in Tempe now. I'm looking forward to that, definitely.

Daniel has been helping me study the last couple of days. I feel pretty well prepared for physics and psychology, and okay for religion. I'll look over my notes tomorrow just to be sure. But right now honestly I'm more focused on moving out and preparing for the summer.

Tonight Daniel and I are going out for dinner to celebrate the end of the year. I wish I didn't feel so guilty about spending more money. I am worried about finding a job this summer. I have applied for 5 or 6 the last few days, but none of them are promising. They all prefer experience and I have none. Which is why I need a job. It's quite frustrating. You need a job to get experience, but you need experience to get a job. I applied to be a phlebotomist at two local hospitals, which is mostly out of my league. And I applied to be a teller at two banks. I think I would really like working at a bank. But they both preferred prior experience handling money and working with customers. I guess I have a small shot at it. When I get back home, I'll get applications for Barnes and Noble and Banana Republic. Neither have online applications. I don't think I would be that disappointed if I didn't get a job. I might get bored, and of course I would like the money, but after this hectic year it would be nice to have a few months to do what I want. And I would be babysitting too, so it's not like I wouldn't make any money at all.

I am super excited for volleyball and really just to go back to church again. I feel totally out of the loop not being at church or going to events. I miss seeing all my friends, and even their parents every Sunday at church. I am a little nervous though. Some of the people back home I know it's going to be like I never left and we are going to be best friends again. I'm really excited to see those people! However, some other people it's going to be very different. I don't know if they are going to treat me differently, or if I'm going to treat them differently, or if they even consider me a friend anymore. Or if I even want to be their friend anymore. It's complicated. Daniel and I have talked about that a little bit. We just chose totally different paths for our lives, and I don't know if we have anything in common. Actually, I know for sure that we have very little in common. I guess I'll just have to feel it out and see how it goes. In some ways, I feel waaaaay older than I did a year ago. In other ways, I feel like I'm still really young. I guess that's like the textbook definition of college age/young adults. Well that's all part of growing up I guess.

Four days. Hallelujah. I'm going home!