Frustration

I have had a lot of frustrations lately.

1.  The house.  This is probably the biggest stressor in my life right now.  I just want to know definitively where I'm going to live 6 months from now.  Unfortunately, it's not that easy.  Daniel's parents have been concerned about how much this is going to cost, and if it will be a good investment.  I definitely understand why they have to make sure they can afford it and everything, but we have been getting very mixed messages.  Daniel's mom says one thing, and his dad says another, and then he tells me that he's sure everything is going to be fine and our budget is really higher than they say because we can negotiate down....   And going every weekend to look at houses is a lot of work!  I feel like we are so far away from actually moving in.  I'm afraid that every house we look at is either too expensive, or by the time Daniel's parents get around to putting in an offer, none of these houses are going to be on the market anymore.  There have already been like 3 houses we were interested in that have gone under contract.  At this point, Daniel's dad is saying we absolutely cannot get anything above $170K.  From the houses that we've seen, $170 will buy is a real fixer-upper in a not-so-nice neighborhood.  Daniel's parents obviously aren't here and don't know what the market is like, so they don't get that (understandably).  A few days ago, I was about to give up on the whole house thing and started thinking about alternatives.  For Daniel, it's basically a house, or being an RA.  Or else he has to pay rent himself.  For us to live together, we would have to find an apartment that we could split and his half would have to be around $300 for him to afford it.  That severely limits our options.  Not to mention furniture, food, etc.  So that option was looking a little bleak.  If it comes down to it, I think we can manage, but let's hope we can find a house that makes everyone happy.  I'm feeling slightly more optimistic now because Daniel has convinced me that it'll be fine.  His mom is also still very optimistic.  Daniel thinks that once his dad comes out and sees what $170K will buy us, he will decide that they can afford a little more.  With that in mind, we will keep looking and his Dad is planning to come out in a few weeks.

2.  Organic Chemistry.  A constant battle.  I feel like I am always just barely grasping the material.  Obviously I'm able to understand just enough because I did manage a B last quarter.  We have our first test in 10 days, and I am very concerned.  We have covered so so so much material it's overwhelming.  This weekend I'll have to really study a lot to see if I can get comfortable enough with the material before the mid-term.

3.  My summer job/future career.  I've been making pretty good money this year working at the desk, doing mail, writing blogs, and helping with the physics class.  I need to figure out what I'm going to do next year.  I could keep the DA job.  It has very flexible hours, it's really easy, and I can get homework done.  However, if I live off campus it won't be nearly as convenient, and it doesn't pay a whole lot, and it doesn't really do much for my future career.  My mom has suggested I look at other on-campus jobs that might pay a little more like tutoring or something like that.  I could also look into working at a day care or something because I do really like kids.  But, something that Daniel keeps bringing up, is that none of these jobs will give me experience in my field of study.  I really should think about getting a job that will help me and give me something to put on my resume.  The problem is that there aren't many healthcare jobs for people without certification.  And to get certification takes money and time.  At this point, I'm really leaning towards becoming a PA.  It will be another 2-3 years after my undergraduate degree.  But many programs require a few years of experience.  I have no clue what that experience can be.  How can I get a job working with patients?  Even harder is finding a job that I can do while I'm in school.  I need something that's flexible enough to work around my class schedule and doesn't require a degree or certification.  And it would be nice if it paid more than $7.70 an hour.  But honestly, the pay isn't that big of deal.  If I could get a job even as a receptionist at a doctor's office, that would be fine.  I just want some experience in the real world that's distantly related to my field of study.  Is that so hard?

All of these things have made me very grumpy in the past few days, and as usual I take it out on Daniel.  He is so supportive and optimistic.   He says that we will find a beautiful house that his parents can afford and we will get to live together for real.  He tells me that I'm smart and I will do fine in chemistry.  He insists that there are plenty of jobs to give me experience, and it's really important that I focus on that.  I try to believe him.  I want to.  Without him, my life would be so pessimistic.  I'm so glad I have him to balance me out.  

Even planning our Europe trip has been a little stressful, but also really fun.  Daniel finished writing his proposal and tomorrow he will submit it.  We'll find out in a week or two if they approved it.  We had to change our itinerary a lot to fit in all the music festivals he wanted to go to, which unfortunately meant cutting out a lot of Switzerland.  But it's okay, we'll make it work.  We bought our plane tickets yesterday.  I really like the itinerary we got.  We leave Phoenix at 11:00am on July 15.  It's not too early.  We fly to Newark, NJ where we change planes.  We have an hour and a half over dinner time so that worked out really nice.  We can have a nice dinner in the airport and then get back on a plane to fly all night long and arrive in Madrid 10am the next morning.  Our flight back isn't quite as nice.  We leave Rome at 6am, change planes in Amsterdam, and then again in Houston before landing in Phoenix around 3pm on August 10.  That's okay, we'll be so tired we'll sleep the whole time anyways.  That exact flight was $905 a few days ago, but we had to wait for Daniel's credit card cycle to cut so he had enough available credit to charge the flight.  We booked it through American Express so he can get double points.  By the time the cycle cut yesterday, the flight was up to $975.  I guess that's the airline industry.  Anyways, it's still a good deal.  Two roundtrip flights to Europe for under $2000 in peak season.  So now it's official.... we're going to Europe!  At this point our next task is to book our Eurail pass and book most of our hostels for the trip.  We'll wait until we hear about the grant before we do that.  If he doesn't get the grant, then our itinerary may change slightly so the hostels will probably change too.  If he does, then we get to see three operas.  The Magic Flute, Aida, and The Barber of Seville.  I love opera, and I can't even believe that we might get the chance to see three operas, in Europe, for free!  I also can't believe how much money we've managed to save up between the two of us.  I have never saved this much money in my life.  We decided that any money we don't spend, we will pay back Grandma and Grandpa and hopefully in the next year we'll be able to pay them back fully.  I really feel strongly about being independent and they're already paying for my tuition.  I can't wait until I have a real job and can afford to support myself.  Until then, I will work hard to get good grades and that's all Grandma and Grandpa ask in return for their "investment."

Wow this is a long post.  Well, I haven't written in a few days.  It feels good to get that all off my chest.  I hope everything settles down and we figure these things out soon.  It's strange that school is my least stressful thing going on right now.  It's nice taking only 3 classes.