Today has been quite a day. I've had moments of happiness and lots of moments of stress. My presentation was today. I had to give a 5 minutes presentation to a bunch of families and researchers at work. I was really afraid that I would say something wrong or one of the other researchers would ask me a question that I wouldn't know how to answer. Well this morning Doug, my boss, was like why don't we look over your presentation and make sure there are no typos or anything. I was thinking "well, I have already submitted it so it's too late, but why not". So I just let him change things. Well as we went along he made a lot of important changes. So I really felt like I needed to use this corrected version. We also took a picture of one of my slides to stick in there which was a really important addition. So when we finished (about one hour before presentations begin) I ran it over to Brian's office and he replaced my old one with the new one. All morning I went back and forth between moments of complete panic to moments of complete calm. When it was my turn, I took a deep breath and went for it. When I was up there I just kind of talked like I was explaining it to a friend. I relaxed and it went really well I think. Most of the other interns did really well too. Some did terrible, but most did well. I was so happy to get it over with. Afterwards, Daniel came up and I showed him around the lab. It was fun to show him because I talk about it all the time. And I introduced him to my boss which was cool. But I really had work to do, so Daniel left and I finished my work. I did this ELISA test and it turned out really strange. Doug doesn't know what happened (it wasn't my fault), but anyways I have to start over and do it again tomorrow. That's what stinks about research. I spent 3 days working on this test and it came out wrong. Well, the standard worked which is good, but the rest of it came out strange.
Then I got home and we went to P.F. Chang's for dinner. Delicious. But, in the middle of dinner, Teresa called and asked if I was still coming to babysit. Crap. I didn't realize it was confirmed. I thought she would call me if she wanted me to babysit, but she thought it was already set. But I had such a stressful day, I really didn't want to go over there all night. My parents kinda got that vibe, so they volunteered to go for me. So now I feel terrible because I didn't show up to babysit and now I'm supposed to be there but instead it's my parents. It's not even worth it. I should have just gone. Cause now I'm tired and depressed and stressed and feeling really guilty. Ugh. Why do I have to have a conscience? It would be so much easier if I didn't care about responsibility. Alas, that's just not me.
Oh yeah, I got a $50 Visa gift card today at work. All the interns got one. And I get my check next week. I love earning money. Even if it's not that much, at least it's something. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it. Probably it will go towards buying a bed for Daniel's dorm room, or gas money, or tuition money.
That's another thing I'm stressed out about. My financial aid package was a whopping (sarcastic) $10,000 this year (with loans). That means that my parents/grandparents will be left paying about $25,000 this year for my tuition, room, and board. That's a lot of money. I think I'm sufficiently depressed now. I think I'll go bake some cookies.
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