Friday. Sigh.

Today was a good day. Nothing special. Althought I got to spend lots of time with Daniel and Eric which was nice. I feel like I haven't gotten to see Daniel hardly at all this past week. With his RA classes, and music stuff, and Theta Chi stuff, I feel like he is so busy that I never get to see him. But at the same time, I am glad that we do things on our own. I need time to myself sometimes, and he needs times with his friends. But next year it's just going to get worse. He's an RA and he will still be on the executive board of Theta Chi and he will still have all the music school stuff. But I will be busy too. Hopefully I will have two jobs to keep me plenty busy. Plus, I'll have Lexi :-)

Last night Daniel told me that he thinks I really need to do something about my anxiety. He thinks I study WAY too much and I worry WAY too much and I don't give myself enough down time or credit for what I've done.

I have two views on this. One, I am a biochemistry major which means my classes are much more difficult and take more studying. Plus, I think that studying and doing my homework thoroughly and to the best of my ability is why I got all As last semester and got good grades in high school. So I should spend a lot of time on school work. Two, Daniel is a little right. Okay, a lot right. I spend way too much of my life worrying and stressing about everything I have to do. I obsessively make lists of everything, I mean everything that I have to do. Today, tomorrow, next week, on the weekend, etc. On the weekends, I cannot go out and do anything, even grocery shopping or out to lunch, if I haven't done homework first. Whenever I am not doing homework or in class, I am feeling guilty because I'm not doing homework or in class.

Daniel thinks I might benefit from meditation or therapy or medication or something to help me relax. I think that this is just my personality and I really don't want to do something about it because that would be admitting that something's wrong. And I feel like I'm doing a lot better than I did my junior and senior years of high school. My stomachaches are a lot less frequent. I used to get them every single day in high school and in Boston, but now it's only like once a week. So maybe in another year it will be all better. How am I supposed to know when it's bad enough to require action? I know I'm driving Daniel crazy though. I'll have to think about this some more.