Happy Palm Sunday!

What a great weekend! This was the first Saturday Daniel didn't have to work in a very long time. Usually Sunday is the only day we get to spend together, but not this weekend. And even though we both had lots of homework to do, we decided to put it off and just spend Saturday doing things we wanted to do. And that involved some gardening. We bought some pretty petunias and planted them in big pots. Right now they are right outside our front door. I don't think we're officially past the last frost of the season, so we'll have to be careful and bring them inside if it's going to get cold at night. I hope they last all the way until our family comes in 6 weeks. If they don't, we'll just plant some new ones. We also bought a tree and planted it in the front yard. Right now our front yard is just grass and it's kind of sad looking. The tree instantly brightened it up. It's a beautiful tree that has white blossoms in the spring. I'm not sure if we'll get any though because it's very young. But the leaves are "purple" which I think looks more like dark red. So it adds some nice color to the yard anyways. We also cooked dinner and had a friend over to eat with us. That's when the one bad part of the weekend came up. The whole groomsman issue surfaced again. The friend that came over for dinner is Daniel's best friend. They instantly became friends the first day of freshman year, and they've been close ever since. Daniel mentioned that his dad called again to harass him (my word, not his) about including his older brother Rennie as a groomsman.

This just gets under my skin for so many reasons. The most significant reason is Daniel's dad's general pushiness. He just won't accept Daniel's choices. He doesn't respect that Daniel can make his own decisions. A month ago Daniel and I discussed it and decided that Rennie would be an usher- he still wears a tux, he is still part of the wedding party, but he will not be escorting any bridesmaids down the aisle. That was a good compromise I thought. So when we finally made a decision, we decided that was it. No more discussion. We have spent enough time talking about it, debating it, and we were sick of it. So the choice has been made and now we don't have to think about it anymore. Well when Daniel's Dad found out about the decision, he emailed Daniel (which I am not allowed to see) and then called him to talk about it some more. This brings me to my second issue with Daniel's dad: he asked Daniel to keep a secret from me. We do not keep secrets from each other. And that he would tell Daniel purposely not to let me see it tells me a lot. To me, it means that he doesn't want anyone else involved in the decision. He feels that if he can just get Daniel alone and talk to him, he can change his mind. I think it's just wrong to get between a couple like that.

Daniel's father has just gone about this completely wrong. His reasoning is that Rennie will be very upset that he was not included. He says that every year on our anniversary we will look back at our wedding day and remember that Rennie was not included and how upset he was. That's a bunch of crap. I'll tell you what we will remember. We will remember how Daniel's Dad threatened not to come to our wedding if Rennie isn't a groomsman. We will remember how he hounded Daniel over and over again to change his mind. We will remember how aggressive and rude he was and how disrespectful he was of our decisions. We will remember how our wedding day turned from a day celebrating our love and commitment to each other into a day about Daniel and his Dad and Rennie. So he has it all wrong. And by choosing Rennie as a groomsman, Daniel will not be doing him any favors. Because who wants to be included just because someone else cornered you into making that decision? I have to add, by the way, that Rennie has never said anything about all of this. As far as we know, he has no idea there is an argument about him. I doubt he even knows the difference between a groomsman and an usher (especially since when he got married, he went to the courthouse and didn't TELL anybody until MONTHS later!) Okay I think I need a deep breath. Obviously this is a very difficult issue and I'm sick and tired of arguing about it. I just wish Daniel would make a decision and STICK with it! So we can be done with all this. Which I thought we did a month ago, but I guess not.

Well, I didn't mean for this to turn into a tirade, but I need to voice my frustrations somewhere. And if I didn't write it on here, I may very well call up Daniel's Dad and tell it to him instead. Please pray that I don't blow. Because they're coming to stay here in 6 weeks and it is very possible that this comes up. I cannot guarantee I will hold my tongue any longer!