Well that last blog described one really bad night that turned into 6 really bad nights. In a row. Seriously, Elijah did. not. sleep. for 6 NIGHTS IN A ROW. It was the worst ever. I mean way worse than when he was a newborn. Because when he was a newborn, we didn't both have to get up and go to work the next day. And my boob always did the trick to get him back to sleep. Last week- not so. He would cry and we tried to soothe him in the crib, but picking him up and rocking him worked almost instantly (in the beginning of the night- by about 4am there wasn't really anything that would get him back to sleep). When we put him back in the crib and tiptoe out of the room, it would take about 15 minutes for him to wake up screaming again. This happened in a 90 minute cycle all night long until about 4am when he just wouldn't go back to sleep. And then we would have to try to shower and get ready for work with an extremely tired and cranky baby.
After a long conversation with my Mom brainstorming possible reasons (learning to crawl, separation anxiety, behavioral/ wanting to be held and rocked) I determined that I should go to the doctor to rule out any medical issues. Since he was diagnosed with a double ear infection 10 days earlier, I thought that really might be it. My Mom was convinced, anyways. She told me that lying flat on his back could be painful for him if his ears are still infected. I was imagining him in excruciating pain all night long. This made me feel especially guilty because I was pretty close to letting him cry it out. In fact, on Sunday morning we let him cry because we didn't have a choice- we had to get ready for church. After spending 4:50am-6am trying to get him back to sleep we gave up and let him cry. What if he was in pain that whole time and we just ignored him? The thought made me want to cry. So Monday morning we went to the doctor. He told us that Elijah's ears were still infected, but not enough to cause severe pain that would keep him up all night. He suggested that the sleeplessness was probably a mixture of ear infection and behavioral. It may have started with pain and discomfort from an illness, and just continued after that because Elijah learned that if he cried we would come running. He said he sees this a lot after an illness or travel. I was so disappointed. I was kinda hoping for the ear infection reason so that it would be an easy fix- pain mediation, antibiotic, done. We had a difficult decision to make. Ultimately, Daniel and I decided to let Elijah "cry it out". To be honest, I never thought we would have to do that. Elijah was always a great sleeper. Most nights he woke up once around 2 or 3am and Daniel didn't mind getting up, feeding him 3 oz, and getting him back to sleep. It was still disruptive to my sleep, but I felt like I couldn't complain as long as Daniel was the one getting up. So I thought this would continue until Elijah got a little older and then he would slowly grow out of the one nighttime waking/feeding and we'd all be happy. It was not to be. We made up our minds.
I thought it would be torturous. I could hardly stand to listen to Elijah cry for a few minutes, how could I let him cry until he fell asleep? I thought it would take over an hour. I really had to fight myself psychologically on this. I saw it in two different ways: one, Elijah would cry until he said to himself, "well, I guess Mom and Dad don't love me anymore and they won't come save me so I will just give up in despair and fall into a fitful distressed sleep" or two, Elijah would say to himself, "I can't manipulate them anymore, they've figured me out, so I better just go to sleep when they tell me to." The first explanation breaks my heart. The second gives me resolve to make this work. So I told myself the second explanation over and over again until I believed it firmly.
On Monday night, we began Operation Cry It Out. The first night, it took 35 minutes of crying for Elijah to fall asleep. It wasn't constant screaming the whole 35 minutes. At times it got pretty hysterical, but it was always broken up by a few moments of silence and some quieter whining. We used the video monitor to make sure he was safe and not truly in distress. It was pretty painless actually. I was surprised when he fell asleep after only 35 minutes. That night I wore earplugs and turned on a white noise app on my phone to drown out any crying in the middle of the night. I truly have no idea how many times he woke up and cried that night. I do know that he was crying when my alarm went off at 6am. But I felt so amazing after just one night of sleep that it was sooooo worth it. I felt refreshed and renewed for the first time in weeks. On Tuesday night it took a grand total of 5 minutes of crying for Elijah to fall asleep. Again, I don't know how many times he woke up that night because I wore earplugs and played white noise. But again, he was crying when my alarm went off at 6am. He went back to sleep shortly after and then woke up happy at 7am when it was time to go to school. On Wednesday night, he didn't cry at all. He played with his bear lovey in his crib and then when I checked the video monitor 15 minutes later, he was fast asleep. I didn't wear earplugs and I didn't hear a peep out of him. When my alarm went off in the morning, I could hear him thumping his legs in his crib. He was awake, but quiet! It was an incredible success and it took 2 nights. TWO NIGHTS! And he slept all the way through the night without a sound. Amazing. Okay, so it's only been 3 nights. Maybe too soon to call it a complete success. But I am absolutely thrilled so far. How freeing it is. We don't have to spend 30 minutes rocking, shushing, patting his back, etc. to get him to sleep. I don't have to be in a constant state of alertness listening for his crying so I can rush in there and soothe him back to sleep. I don't go to bed each night wondering if this will be a good night or a bad night. I feel like a new person. Well rested, energetic, ready to start the day when my alarm goes off. It's wonderful. And pretty painless over all. And an unexpected perk- since he's not up eating 3 oz every single night, I have 3 oz of extra milk each day. That translates into A LOT of frozen milk in our freezer! I think there's a lot of bashing of the cry it out method, but for us it worked better than anything I could have imagined.
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