Anxiety!

At this point, I really don't want to go back to school.  Every time I think about it, I get a tight feeling in my chest and a headache.  I don't know why I'm so anxious about it.  I love school.  I'm happy when I'm there.  I think part of it is that we have a very long drive to get there.  The last few hours of our drive back here before thanksgiving was torturous.  It'll be about 15 hours because we're going up to the mountains.  And that may be another reason I'm stressed out.  We are going to stay with one of our friends and his family in the mountains for a few days and go skiing/snowboarding.  Jeff is a really great friend, and his family is really nice, but it's always a little weird staying at someone's house.  And his "house" is really a mansion.  A huge cabin with a work out room, outdoor jacuzzi, loft, and steam room.  Snowboarding also makes me a little worried because it's a lot of work and I'm still not very good at it.  I know I will be very sore after a day on the slopes.  If it's not a nice day, then it will be freezing cold and I will be miserable.  That won't be fun either.  Writing all of this is giving me a major stomachache.

Besides all that, I'm worried about my busy, stressful life that has become the norm during school.  Last quarter every single day was packed from waking up at 8am (or earlier) until dinner at 6 (or later).  However, I am taking less classes this quarter which will help.  And my classes will be better because there's no psychology which was a huge stressor last quarter.  But I will be working lots of hours and living in that tiny room with Daniel and eating mediocre food in the dining hall.  I just need to remind myself how happy I am with my friends at school.  I do miss them.  And how much I enjoy learning.  I'm taking three science classes which I love.  And that means very few paper writing, group projects, or presentations.  It's mostly just go to class, take notes, and study on my own.  And that's how I work the best.

So why am I so stressed out and worried?  I need to calm down.  I will focus on the positives and things I am looking forward to.

1.  being away from my dad

2. living with Daniel again

3. making my own decisions

4. having every meal prepared and cleaned up for me

5. going out on dates

6. spending a ton of time with friends

7. learning more science

8. getting that much closer to graduation

9. playing in the snow!

I will have to work on making that list longer.