17 Weeks

I'm pretty sure I've entered the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy.  It seems a little early to me.  I definitely didn't think my belly would get in my way this soon.  But I've never been pregnant before so what do I know.  At this point, I can't sleep on my belly anymore (which used to be my favorite position).  The doctor told me last week that I shouldn't be sleeping on my back anymore either.  She explained that the baby sinks onto my vena cava which can cut off the blood supply to my brain, making me dizzy and light headed and possibly even pass out.  I listened, and politely ignored her advice.  I figured the baby couldn't possibly be heavy enough to cut off my blood supply yet!  Last night I rolled onto my back and almost immediately the room started spinning really fast.  It was scary, and now I will listen to my doctor.  So I can't sleep on my back anymore.  That leaves my left side (according to the doctor, this side is preferable) and my right side.  So I spend my night rolling back and forth in between getting up to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes.  By the way, I thought that particular side effect was supposed to go away during the second trimester.  Apparently not.  I haven't been sleeping well.  It's hard to get used to my new restrictions.  And when I do sleep, I have the most vivid and often terrifying dreams.  Daniel has complained that I take up too much of the bed.  And my response is "get used to it."  Because I'm not getting any smaller!  Daniel also felt it necessary to exclaim loudly and excitedly how huge I looked on Sunday.  He then took a picture and sent it to the entire family and posted it on twitter, again exclaiming how big I look.  Maybe a better description would be how big the baby is getting, or how pregnant I look.  I could go without the word "huge" or "big" being used to describe my appearance.  My back pain also hasn't gotten any better.  Though instead of pain, I can now more accurately describe it as fatigue.  It really feels like my back muscles are just tired from holding up the baby all day long.  So my new plan is to lay down for a few minutes when I get home from work, and try to exercise more.  Now that the weather is getting warmer, I am very happy to take walks outside.  Jackson also likes this new plan.  My allergies, however, do not.  But that will pass in the next few weeks as soon as everything stops blooming.  The new greatest thing about the pregnancy is my appetite.  I feel like I have a reason to eat whatever I want, whenever I want for the first time in my life.  I am constantly hungry.  I eat more food than Daniel in one sitting, and then I'm ready for a snack an hour later.  My biggest craving is sweets.  Specifically, fruity flavored sweets.  Like jolly ranchers and my new favorite snack- fruit snacks.  I haven't had those in forever, but they satisfy my craving perfectly now.  And I'm back to my old habit of a bowl of chocolate ice cream each evening.  Though I skip a day here and there.  Just this week, I'm starting to feel the baby move more consistently.  At least once a day I can identify definite baby movement.  I could be wrong, I guess, but I don't think I am.  Usually it's at a very specific spot.  Like I can stick my finger right where the movement is. I can now feel my uterus from my pubic bone almost all the way to my belly button.  So if it's in that area, it could be the baby.  Once or twice I've even felt a strong kick.  Though once it's over, I question if it really happened at all.  I'm so excited for when Daniel can feel the baby move.  So far I've felt kind of alone in the process.  I want him to be more involved. In other news... there isn't much other news.  Work is going as usual.  Daniel has 10 weeks left of college.  I'm counting down the days until our 20-week ultrasound (22) and our cruise (39)!  The weather is warming up and I am absolutely thrilled.  I love to spend time outside as much as possible.  In the summer, Denver has to be the most beautiful place on the planet.  It cools off just enough in the evening to sit outside.  It's just warm enough during the day that you can wear shorts and a tank top and be comfortable.  Perfect.

Week 15

I am almost 4 months through my pregnancy, though it feels like a lot more!  I can't believe how slow the last few months have gone.  I really hope it speeds up or this is going to be a very long pregnancy.  I am once again stuck in the attitude of wanting to get done with this stage and on to the next as quickly as possible!  It seems like my whole life has felt like one long wait.  I'm still trying to remind myself to appreciate each week as it comes, though I haven't been very successful at that.

I am very glad I am through the first trimester.  I never actually vomited (due to morning sickness at least), though I felt queasy through about week 8.  I know I'm lucky that it went away that early.  I'm still feeling very tired though.  I go to bed at about 8:30 every night and sleep until at least 7am!  Supposedly I should start feeling more energetic and get that "pregnant glow" soon.  My biggest complaint these days is backache.  Some days I can barely walk by the time I leave work to go home.  I don't want to take any medication if I can help it, so I'm suffering through it without any tylenol.  It seems that the more I sit at my desk, the worse the pain is.  So I try to have good posture and get up once in a while, though standing and walking makes my back hurt too.  I still have to get up about a million times a night to go to the bathroom.  I think that particular symptom is permanent- or at least will last a little longer.

There are some good things about the pregnancy- last week I actually felt the baby move for the first time!  I'm absolutely sure that's what it was because it was in the exact right spot.  I felt it right on the hard spot where I can feel my uterus.  It just felt like a little butterfly or maybe a tiny fish swimming around.  I was at work at the time, so I just took a moment to realize that's what it was and then I went on with my work.  I have only felt it once or twice since then.  I know that very soon I will feel the baby moving stronger and more consistently.  I'm excited for that time- and especially excited for when Daniel can finally feel the baby move.  A few nights ago he pulled out our stethoscope (yes, we actually have a stethoscope) and tried to listen to the heartbeat.  He thought he heard it, but I'm not so sure.  We have our 16-week appointment next Wednesday, and I'm sure we'll hear it then.  I'm also hoping that we might get an ultrasound and possibly could find out the sex of the baby!  I'm going to ask anyways.  I know we will find out for sure on April 18 which is our full anatomy scan.  I'm very excited for that appointment, even if we already know the sex.  We will get to see our baby in 3D and make sure all its organs are developing correctly.  It's amazing how badly I just want this baby to be healthy.  So far, so good!

There are other exciting things going on in our lives now.  We are in the process of buying our house from Daniel's parents.  We were able to arrange it so that we don't have to make a down payment.  This is mostly due to Daniel's incredibly generous parents who are selling us the house for slightly less than it's actually worth.  They will still make all the money back they have invested, so they're happy too.  We are so lucky that our house has actually appreciated significantly in the 2 1/2 years since his parents bought it. Just another reason to love Denver!  But since we are buying the house that means money is a little tight this month.  Daniel has been very stingy about letting me buy maternity clothes.  I don't think he quite understands how depressing it is to put on clothes that looked perfectly fine a few months ago and they make you look like a fat cow.  So far he has allowed me to buy 5 shirts and 2 pairs of pants.  I'm thinking that's not really going to last all summer, so eventually he'll have to allow me to buy more.  Or maybe I'll just go buy more without him knowing.  Shopping for maternity clothes is not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be.  There are LOTS of women out there who are mothers, and every single one of them was pregnant at some point.  Unfortunately, retailers still don't believe that there's enough of a market out there to create more than about 2 shirts and 2 pairs of pants to choose from.  So I have found myself running from store to store, trying on everything they have and liking about 1 in 5 things I try on.  And it seems that we live in a "dry spot" for maternity stores.  No Motherhood Maternity near us, or an Old Navy with maternity clothes.  Just a Pea in the Pod which is ridiculously overpriced.  I did, however, get to shop there because my incredible sister sent me a gift card :-)

So now I'm just counting down the days until we find out if we're having a little Rosen boy or a little Rosen girl!  And then I'll be counting down the days until the annual Rosen family cruise on May 7.  So excited for summer!!

Epidural or not?

I've been thinking a lot about how I want to experience the birth of our child.  I know it's early, but I want to be as prepared as possible before we start taking birthing classes.  Actually, this is something that Daniel and I have been discussing for years.  We have always said that we wanted to go as natural as possible- even considering a home birth.  Unfortunately, a home birth is not possible with my health insurance.  But I think we can accomplish many of our goals in a hospital.  I've always wanted a natural childbirth because "natural" is how I try to do everything in my life.  It's sort of my guideline for how I live my life.  We try to eat as naturally as possible.  To me, that means avoiding foods that come in plastic or cardboard and foods that have chemicals in them that I can't pronounce.  We also avoid foods that don't rot or decompose.  And it also means doing things like growing our own vegetables and composting.  I think this philosophy comes from my scientific background.  I believe in evolution; I believe that our bodies have evolved to best survive in the world around us.  Evolution is a (relatively) slow process.  Our bodies have not evolved enough yet to digest all the chemicals and preservatives in our food.  They also haven't evolved to protect us from the obesity and heart disease that results from having food available anytime, anywhere.  Right now our bodies are perfectly suited to the way humans lived for thousands of years, until the industrial revolution.  And for thousands of years women gave birth to their babies with no medical intervention.  So why can't I?  Here's a good reason: for thousands of years women and babies died in childbirth.  It used to be one of the most common causes of death in fact.  Of course I will be in a hospital where medical intervention will be available if needed- I think that I would just rather wait until it's needed rather than using it proactively.

But, when it comes down to it, I need some ammunition.  I need data, numbers, and facts to arm myself with so that when I'm in severe pain I have a reason to keep going synthetic drug-free.  But I'm afraid to open myself to the other side.  If I give myself even one good reason to use drugs, my resolve may crack and that's the end of it.  I don't think I'm strong enough to stick with it to the bitter end.  Even if I was brave enough to research both sides of the issue, I wouldn't know where to look!  There is a serious lack of objective information about pregnancy, labor, childbirth, and parenting.  I think I might ask my Ob/Gyn if she has any resources.  Hopefully a doctor can be objective enough to help me make an educated decision.  And I have 6 more months to decide if I can handle it.

Pregnancy Chronicles- 9 week edition

I am 9 weeks and 1 day pregnant today!  I am so excited that Daniel and I are going to have a baby!  My close friends (and pretty much anyone who's known me for more than a week) knows that I have been waiting for this for a very long time!  I have always wanted to be a mom and I have literally just been getting through all the responsible things you're supposed to before having kids.  And I have to say I am very proud of myself for finishing college and getting married before we got pregnant- though it was just a few days before!  On the honeymoon, Daniel told me that he wanted to start out family.  You'd think that I would have been thrilled and ready to go right away, but I wasn't.  My first reaction was that I need to think about this.  We aren't in the most solid financial situation.  I have a great job that pays well, but Daniel is still finishing up his Master's degree.  He works very hard, but doesn't make as much money as he should.  Of course that will all change (hopefully) when he graduates in May.  But I'm not the type of person to make a huge decision like having children without knowing that Daniel has a good job waiting for him.  So I told Daniel that I wasn't ready, and we'll talk about it.  I also felt that the honeymoon probably wasn't the best time to make a big decision like that.  We're on vacation, we have tons of money in our pockets and lots of gifts, and we're not really thinking about reality.  

For the next day or two, Daniel asked me every couple of hours if I was ready yet.  He seemed so extremely excited, I couldn't help but wonder what changed his mind so suddenly and definitively?  He explained that right before the wedding, when we had about a week or so that we thought I might be pregnant, he started to get really excited.  And then when it turned out I wasn't pregnant, he was surprised how disappointed he was.  I on the other hand was very relieved!  I did not want to get pregnant before the wedding.  So I thought about it quietly by myself, and 2 days later I told him I was ready.  I distinctly remember the conversation.  We had just finished horseback riding up in the mountains at sunset.  We were on the 2 hour drive back to our bed and breakfast and I told him that I made my decision.  I determined that no matter what, we would make it work.  Our income is steady right now, and even if he just kept his same job after graduation we would be okay.

Apparently, that timing was just perfect because we've calculated that it was probably that day, or one of the next 2 or 3 days that we became pregnant!  Of course we never expected it to happen that quickly.  I've always wondered in the back of my mind if we would have problems.  You never know until you try, right?  Well apparently all those years of birth control was a solid investment!  On Christmas Eve morning Daniel convinced me to take a test (even though I was sure it would be negative).  And I thought it was negative!  There was a very faint positive line, which Daniel interpreted to mean almost positive.  So the day after Christmas he asked me to take a test again.  I did, and it was clearly positive!  I couldn't believe it.  I didn't feel pregnant at all.  That changed about one week later.

From weeks 5-8 I felt very queasy, exhausted, and had absolutely no appetite.  I could barely get through the day.  Every morning I woke up and dragged myself out of bed and to work.  I was miserable.  Each meal was a struggle to get enough food down so that I wasn't starving.  Every minute that I wasn't at work, I was laying on the couch counting down the minutes until my second trimester.  Around week 7 I started to get backaches and I caught a cold.  I didn't think I could get any more miserable, but I did.  Add congestion and terrible sinus headaches to my already long list of symptoms.  I allowed myself to stay home from work one day, but I had to go back the next day even though I didn't feel any better.  I just didn't want anyone at work to think I was going to use my pregnancy as an excuse (I had to tell my boss and co-workers about the pregnancy immediately because some of the chemicals I work with can be very dangerous during pregnancy).  Once I got over the cold, my nausea decreased and my appetite came back.  For the past week I have felt so much better.  I've had enough energy to go out and do things (which Daniel really appreciates) and I've been eating near-normal portions again- though certain foods can still ruin my appetite.  This past weekend I felt like my belly was huge, but I'm sure it's just bloating at this point.  Daniel has been incredible through the pregnancy so far.  He would get up early to get me some breakfast to eat before I even got out of bed.  He spent an hour cooking beautiful dinners just to watch me eat 2 bites and push it away.  He has taken over many of the chores around the house so I can rest on the weekends.  I feel so lucky to have him as my partner.

For now I feel great- at least compared with a few weeks ago.  Daniel and I got to see the baby at our first prenatal appointment and that was such a huge relief.  I know so many people who have lost their baby very early so for the first few weeks I was obsessed with checking for miscarriage.  I thought about it constantly, and didn't allow myself to get too excited.  But the doctor told us that if she could see the baby on the ultrasound, which she did, then we have a 95% of completing a healthy pregnancy.  We also found out that it's just one baby and not twins like Daniel was hoping for.  I am relieved to know that too!  Twins would be financially extremely difficult for us right now.  Maybe next time ;-)

Catching Up

I'm not even going to try to summarize the last two months.  It was crazy busy and I'm just now getting back into the routine of normal life.  Thanksgiving and the week leading up to the wedding were so much fun, mostly because I got to spend an entire week with my sister.  The bachelorette party was a blast, and exactly what a bachelorette party should be.  The rehearsal was a nightmare- completely overwhelming and more stress-inducing than stress-relieving.  The rehearsal dinner was slightly better.  The wedding day was absolutely perfect.  It felt so much like us.  My only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time with all the guests who were there.  It was just physically impossible with almost 200 people there.  But the important thing is that I got to marry my partner for life.  The honeymoon was exactly what we needed- relaxing at times, adventurous at times, and most of all 10 whole days for us to spend with each other and nobody else.  It was kind of hard to come down off that and I have to admit that the whole honeymoon I was completely dreading coming back to work.  But I was really happy to finally come home after 3 1/2 weeks away, so that helped ease the transition back to real life.  And since I got back work has been going really well.  I've had quite a few days off due to holidays so it's been easy for Daniel and me to get everything put away and back in order.  We got a huge snowstorm our first week back in Denver and even though it's been between 50 and 60 degrees this whole week, the snow and ice still won't melt!  But that means that we had a beautiful white Christmas- our first one as a married couple.  It was a very nice calm Christmas.  Very different than any Christmas in past years, but it felt right for this year.  We opened all our wedding gifts and a few Christmas gifts from the family and cooked a delicious meal.  On Christmas Eve Daniel followed his mother's example and cooked us a traditional "Noche Buena" meal that was incredible.  We went to the late service at our church here in Denver and it was incredibly moving.  It really put me into the Christmas spirit.

So now it's New Years Day and we are celebrating the beginning of 2012!  2011 was an incredible year for us by anyone's standards.  We both graduated with our undergrad degrees, I had a full-time job the very next Monday that I absolutely loved and soon after got offered a much better paid job that I don't like nearly as much.  But it's a good learning experience for me, and the pay of course makes it worth it.  My first real job, combined with graduating from college, meant that this year Daniel and I became completely financially independent for the first times in our lives.  That was a huge and exciting step for us, and it has mostly been an easy transition.  Together we're making more money than we were living on while we were in college so we've been able to save quite a bit each month.  Add that to all the generous wedding gifts we got, and right now we are feeling very comfortable.  The year ended with us finally getting married.  It feels so right for us to be "The Rosen Family."  Ad we are so excited to see what happens to The Rosen Family in 2012!

Progress at Work

I'm finally getting more comfortable in my position at work.  It's taken a long time, but I really feel like I'm contributing significantly.  I have been incredibly busy the last week or two, which helps the day go by fast.  In late October, I got to a point that I hated going to work and I felt like maybe taking this job was a mistake.  I felt like I couldn't do anything right, and like I wasn't making any progress toward independence.  My direct supervisor is extremely critical.  She wants things to be done her way and EXACTLY right, and she isn't afraid to correct every little thing I do.  She watches me very closely no matter what I'm doing and jumps at every chance to criticize me.  She also completely micromanages.  If she sees me sitting at my desk, she looks for things to tell me to do.  It makes me feel on edge constantly.  She is very strict about not leaving early or taking a  long lunch, not going on facebook or answering personal emails, and has made it very clear that I am not to work on any wedding planning while at work.  She is also very "anti-fun" as my co-worker put it.  She doesn't discuss her personal life at work, and doesn't joke around or anything.  The other 3 of us in the lab like to chat while we work, but she rarely joins in.  She often blames this strictness on her boss (who is technically my boss as well), but more and more I think that is a mischaracterization.  When I interact personally with her boss, she seems very laid back and not at all concerned with me working constantly from 9 to 5.  She has never disciplined me for anything (even though I've been disciplined multiple times for stupid little things in person and via email by my direct supervisor).  All of this criticizing was driving me crazy, especially because I'm not the type of person to be lazy at work and try to get out of things.  I just felt like no matter what I couldn't do anything right.

All of this came to a head on a Friday (in which I asked to leave 30 minutes early because I had stayed 30 minutes late earlier in the week- and was told no- and then my boss left 3 hours early).  I went home and talked it through with Daniel.  His suggestion was to sit down and discuss expectations with both my direct supervisor, and her supervisor.  But I thought that would just make it look like I'm trying to get away with anything I can.  Instead, I decided to work really hard- come early and leave late, take a short lunch, offer to come in on weekends, and be constantly busy from the time I arrive until I leave.  And it seems to be working!  I have come in an hour early 2 or 3 times since then, once on a morning after we got 8 inches of snow, and my supervisor has offered multiple times for me to leave early since I came in so early.  She has also thanked me for working hard and recognized my effort.  The best thing that's happened is that she has actually asked me to help her with mouse work.  She has very little experience with mice and is quite uncomfortable doing anything with them.  She also recognizes that I have lots of experience, and so whenever we're working with mice she lets me take the lead.  It has given me a lot of confidence and I think proven to her that I have some value.  In the last week I have finally begun to gain independence.  Today my boss left at around 10am because she was sick, and left me a LONG list of work to do.  I felt completely overwhelmed, but then decided that this was a great chance to show her that she can trust me to take care of things if she can't be there.  So I got everything on her list done- even though half of the list contained things I have never done before.  I read the directions, asked for help from my co-workers when I needed to, but I got it done.  When my boss's boss saw the list she left me, she said that was ridiculous.  She told me that she would talk to my boss tomorrow and tell her that she can't leave this huge long list for other people to do.  It was very satisfying to hear her say that :-)

Outside of work, my life is still pretty consumed with the wedding.  We have gotten most of the RSVPs back and are now at 182 guests (10 of whom are children).  That's a lot of people!  We have enough money saved for our honeymoon+ 175 guests, so I guess we'll be a little over.  I can't believe how many distant family and friends from across the country are flying in to see us get married.  Many of our friends are flying from Denver as well.  It means a lot to me that they are willing to spend the time and money just to come to our wedding.  And last week the most amazing thing happened.  I went to bells rehearsal like I do every Thursday night.  Only this night, we ended practice 30 minutes early.  We cleaned everything up, and then the director led us down the hallway and when we turned the corner, there were chairs and tables set up with a cake and fruit and a big pile of presents!  I was so completely surprised!  They threw me a surprise wedding shower.  Actually, it was a combined surprise wedding shower for me and baby shower for another member who is due on December 24.  The cake had a bride and a baby on it, and there were presents for both of us.  When I think about the time that they spent to prepare this for us, I feel so lucky to have people like that in my life.  They spent weeks emailing each other to plan it.  Some bought gifts from our registry, one lady custom ordered a cake from a local bakery (and it was delicious), other people brought fruit and set up.  They asked questions about my wedding so that the bride on the cake was wearing a dress just like mine, and there were teal ribbons on the gifts.  They bought 10 drinking glasses, 10 wine glasses, a duvet cover, and the matching shams all from Crate and Barrel.  For them to buy all of that, plus all the baby gifts, and the cake... it's unbelievable.  And they must have come early to rehearsal to set up the chairs and tables and everything.  I still get emotional thinking about it.

As far as planning for the wedding, we have very little left to do.  I made the seating chart last week.  We discussed who is going to give toasts at the wedding and rehearsal which turned out to be another sore spot for Daniel's Dad.  He has been incredibly stubborn and demanding with regard to the wedding (as usual).  It all goes back to the groomsman issue and it seems that because Daniel didn't do what he wanted, he has decided to make every aspect of the wedding difficult for us.  I'm trying to be accommodating and I have to say that I'm very proud of myself for not reacting to him in anger.  I definitely want to put him in his place and remind him whose wedding this is, but that would just make it worse.  So he is going to get his way, and give a toast at the rehearsal and at the reception.  It's not worth arguing about.  I just remind myself in my own mind that I will always win.  Daniel's Dad may think that he can dictate everything Daniel does, but in reality Daniel and I make decisions together as a family.  And I will always come first now because we have chosen each other to be life partners.  Daniel and I have decided from now on that we are not going to ask anymore opinions about the wedding.  Our parents have lost the privilege of being involved in decision making.  Nicole is the only person that we agreed gets to be involved.  She has earned that right by being understanding and flexible, and respecting that this is our wedding and nobody else's.

We spent quite a bit of time in pre-marital counseling discussing both of our fathers.  The most productive thing that I've learned is that when speaking to Daniel, I need to speak from my heart instead of my head.  I tend to be very factual and analytical, but that doesn't work with Daniel.  Another important conversation we had is that something that's important to me about us being married is that Daniel is loyal to me above everyone else.  And a way that he can show that is by supporting me in front of his dad, and not letting his dad speak to me with disrespect.  So we both have things to work on, but I'm more confident than ever that we have a solid relationship and will have a long happy marriage together.  Although I probably already knew that.  I think if we can get through the immense changes that come in middle school, high school, and college, then we can get through anything.

In just 2 1/2 weeks I'm flying to Phoenix.  In less than 4 weeks, I will be Mrs. Rosen!

Work and Wedding

My life right now is completely consumed by work and wedding planning.


Work is going pretty well.  I'm feeling much more comfortable with everyone.  I'm a little disappointed that I don't have more independence yet.  I come to work each morning with only a vague idea of what I'm going to be doing.  Usually I have to wait for some more specific instructions before I can get any work done.  It's frustrating, but I'm sure it will get better as I get to know the lab and how things work here.  My network is expanding a lot.  This lab tends to collaborate a lot more with other labs.  I've met lots of other PIs and researchers in the pathology department and in cancer research in general.  We also attend a lot more lectures and seminars with exposes us to other peoples' ideas and research.  Tomorrow I'm going to a talk by a famous stem cell biologist.  I think stem cells are so interesting, so I'm excited to see what I learn there.  


Wedding planning is exhausting.  All the fun stuff is done, and what's left is just work.  We finally finished the ceremony and thank goodness Daniel and I are both very happy with it.  Last time we worked on it we ended up setting it aside because we couldn't agree on things, but for some reason this time we were on the same page and it was quick and easy.  We have asked Evan's girlfriend Kristy to recite a poem or scripture reading. I'm happy that we're including her in the wedding.  She is definitely a part of the family already.  There are only a few things left: seating once we get all the RSVPs back, designing and printing the programs, and a few other details.  It's less than 6 weeks away!

Last Sunday Daniel and I attended a new church.  It's a Methodist church, like the one I grew up attending in Phoenix.  It's actually right across the street from DU.  There was a time when Daniel and I were trying out new churches in the area, but we never went to this one.  Daniel went to a Sunday morning service when he visited campus during his senior year of high school and he didn't like it.  He felt that the young adult group was very separated from the rest of the congregation.  They met at a different time and had their own service.  This time we went not because we're looking for a church, but because one of Daniel's music students was performing in the service.  He wanted to be there to support his student.  It happened to be the "Children's Sabbath" which means that the kids do everything in the service that the adults normally do.  My first impression was that the church was stunning.  It's in an old red brick building with stained glass all around.  It's a very old-fashioned feeling church.  It probably is very old, since DU was founded in 1864.  My second impression was how friendly and welcoming the people are.  Many people approached us and asked about us.  They recognized us as visitors.  The director of Christian Education came up and introduced himself and told us that we were in for a very special treat because it's Children's Sabbath.  Daniel explained that we were there to see Matthew play and he knew exactly who we were talking about.  When the service started, I started to notice familiar faces.  A few of the people in the choir are DU students in the music school.  The choir director and organist is the accompanist for the choirs at DU.  I was in Women's Choir and I substituted for her when she was sick a few times.  After the service, Daniel and I went up to the front to congratulate his student on playing well.  Daniel introduced me to his Mom (a professor in the music school at DU).  Then right away the choir director approached me and said that she recognized me.  I reminded her of my name and that I was in the Women's Choir 3 years ago.  I couldn't believe she remembered me!  Right then she invited me to join their church choir.  That was very bold of her, and I surprised myself by being really excited about that idea.  I told her that I was interested, but that I'm busy on Wednesday evenings through the end of the year, for our pre-marital counseling.  She encouraged me to reconsider in January.    

Daniel and I spent the rest of the day discussing the church and comparing it to the church I've been attending and playing handbells with.  It's a very large Presbyterian church with FOUR ordained pastors (2 that preach, 1 for congregational care, and 1 for youth), 3 of them with PhD degrees as well.  Their choir director has a PhD in music, as does their organist.  And you can tell because their choir is incredible.  They could substitute for any professional symphony choir in a second.  It took my breath away when they had a brass quintet come and play with them.  It was some of the most beautiful sacred music I've ever heard.  So it's a very successful and wealthy church.  It's also very progressive and community-involved.  They just put solar panels on the roof, and regularly host homeless people right in the church.  The sermons are very intellectually stimulating, which is important to me.  I like to be challenged in my beliefs and not just told the same old bible stories.  Unfortunately, this church is not very welcoming.  We have been there many times and not once has anyone approached us.  I walk around the church in my bell choir uniform, and nobody says one word to me.  I have never spoken with the pastors or any other church staff.  The only people I know are in the bell choir.  And it seems that they don't know a lot of people in the church either.

This new church has Daniel very interested.  And that is HUGE.  Daniel has never been interested in attending church, except when I ask him to.  He has agreed to attend church with our family, but only as a family activity- not for his own enjoyment or benefit.  He sees it as a social club, a way to meet other families in the community.  So the Methodist church fits that for him.  And I feel that if this is a church that he actually wants to go to, then I should jump on it fast. But their choir had maybe 20 people at best, and it was pretty pitiful sounding. Compare that to the professional quality choir at the Presbyterian church.  I would much rather sing with a really good choir, but if everyone said that then bad choirs would never get better.  Plus the Methodist church doesn't have a handbell choir at all.  That could change, since they just got a set of hand chimes.  And I've heard rumors that DU has a set of handbells.  I'm completely torn about this.  Daniel and I will have to talk about it and see where it goes.