Life is finally starting to feel normal. Or I guess as normal as it can feel with an infant. I am starting to realize that with a baby, life is constantly changing. So I've sort of given up trying to get into a routine as consistent as before Elijah was born. Daniel and I have made a few changes to our day that makes for a much less stressful experience for all 3 of us. I've started coming to work an hour earlier (which is still only 8am- not that early). This works much better with Elijah's natural schedule. His sleeping has naturally fallen into a pattern of bed around 8pm, wake to eat between 3:30 and 4:30, then up for good and another feeding around 6. Daniel leaves for work at 7. I used to try to shower and get ready between 7 and 8, but that was very difficult to do with Elijah awake and tired (read: fussy). So now I get up a little earlier, Daniel feeds Eljiah a bottle when he gets up and then the boys hang out while I get ready. We are both out the door around 7 or 7:15 and after dropping Elijah off, I'm at my desk by 8. Before, the morning drive was about the time that he was ready to go back to sleep, so he was very tired and grumpy the whole way. With this new schedule Elijah is much less likely to scream all the way to work, and he arrives happy and smiling instead of crying. It makes me a hundred times happier to be able to shower and get ready without worrying about Elijah, drive to work without a screaming baby in the backseat, and drop him off with him smiling rather than crying. I'm also able to leave work an hour earlier in the afternoon which is the difference between leaving when it's still light out and when it's dark and the difference between horrible traffic and fairly manageable traffic. So all in all, it's working much better for us. The only downside is that I'm not nursing Elijah when he wakes up at 6. I miss nursing him so much. I usually only get in one feed before bed if I'm lucky, and then the early morning feed. Besides that it's all bottles. At least I still get to feed him on the weekends. I also feel like I never see Elijah. When we are at home I'm either trying to get ready for work in the mornings or taking care of dinner and evening chores. And Elijah always comes home so exhausted. There's no time to just sit and play with Elijah. I'm trying to figure out how people do it- or if their lives really just center around chores, obligations, and work. I can only hope that as Elijah gets older, he'll stay up a little later and we'll have time to play in the evenings. Otherwise it seems like a very long 18 years filled with meeting Elijah's needs and missing out on the fun parts of life. Of course I'm exaggerating a bit, but that's what it feels like right now. When I'm not at work, I'm hoarding every second I get to spend with my baby boy. But it helps that I've been able to go see Elijah during work hours. His day care is so close that I can go visit him in the middle of the day. It's amazing how much happier I am after I get to see him. The whole day goes faster. I was even able to feed him the other day. I wasn't the only mom in the nursing room either. Apparently there are other mothers that go to nurse their baby in the middle of the day. It's such a great day care; I am absolutely thrilled with it so far. Last Friday when I went to pick him up, they were all strapped into the stroller taking a walk around the building. Elijah looked so grown up sitting up in a stroller with all those nearly-one-year-olds! And one day this week he was sitting in Miss Erika's lap while she read a story to 2 of the other kids. They were all perfectly still and silent, listening to her. I can tell Elijah is happy there.
When we do have a few minutes to play, I fall more in love with Elijah each moment. He smiles more and more. Sometimes he even initiates a smile now. Most often it's in the mornings. I'll put him down on the changing table and he looks right at me and smiles. Daniel can make him smile pretty much any time. Elijah thinks he is so funny! I love to watch them interact. Even when he's not smiling, his eyes are so expressive. I can tell when he looks at me that he knows I am his mom. He always looks like he is fascinated with the world. You can tell he's taking everything in and learning so much. He is such a beautiful boy.
In less than 2 weeks we will travel to Phoenix for Thanksgiving. I am so excited to spend time with our families all together. Many of them will be meeting Elijah for the first time. I'm a little nervous too. This is our first time traveling with Elijah. And it will be very busy with a lot of activity for Elijah to take in at once. I hope he isn't too overwhelmed. I'm planning to take Elijah and have some quiet time each day, whether the family likes it or not. I have to do what's best for him. I need to make sure that he's eating on schedule (and I will be nursing him- no bottles!), and getting enough sleep. I don't want a grumpy baby or a grumpy mom! Most of all, I'm excited. I will get to spend 5 whole days with our little family, and lots of time with our extended family as well.
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