Savoring the Here and Now

Well, it's official.  I told my PI today that I received another offer.  She was surprisingly cool and calm about it. She totally understood and reassured me repeatedly that it was fine.  Later today she is going to talk to her co-PI, David, and let him know.  She told me that likely he will not want to give me a raise because he is trying to save all his grant money to pay for post-docs and not research techs.  She emphasized that it has nothing to do with me personally, but just the organization of the lab and how they want to move forward.  That's fine with me, I want as easy a decision as possible.  And I emphasized to her that I love this lab and have enjoyed my work here, but I just can't turn down a better offer.  I'm so relieved it's out in the open and I don't have to keep my email closed or disappear for surreptitious meetings anymore.  What a relief!  Life is moving so fast I can't believe it.   Barely 4 months out of college and I've already gotten a raise and promotion.

Lately I've made a commitment to try to enjoy my life the way it is right now.  I have spent so much of my life looking forward to what's next, that I completely miss the excitement of the stage I'm in.  While in high school I couldn't wait until I moved away from my parents and went to college.  While in college, I couldn't wait for financial independence and forming my own family with Daniel.  And now I'm itching to get married and start having babies as soon as possible.  Now I look back with nostalgia at each of those periods in my life and realize how much fun they were.  I wish I could go back and relive the pure fun that is the life of a teenager.    I wish I had enjoyed having my sister and all my family so close.  And I wish I had savored the feeling of having every opportunity in the world open to me.  I also wish I could go back to those first few weeks of college when I was experiencing life without parents for the first time, meeting all new friends, and spending my entire life on school and socializing with no bills to worry about.  So I am going to try my hardest to enjoy this time.  The time of new financial independence, a new job, life without homework and tests, being young and energetic, and not having to pay a babysitter every time Daniel and I want to go out on a date.  I hope that I don't look back on this time in my life and wish that I had enjoyed it more instead of constantly looking forward.