Baby Blog

I've had an inordinate amount of free time to peruse the internet in the last week and a half, and I stumbled upon this blog. It's basically a bunch of women who are in various stages of pregnancy/ new motherhood writing about the unexpected and sometimes difficult decisions they have to make on their way to giving birth. While some of the blogs are perfectly lovely and make me very excited to one day have my own child, some of them scare me to death. Actually, a lot of them scare me to death. I thought I was going to become physically ill after reading one blog in which the mother describes the side effects of magnesium sulfate given to her immediately after delivering (not allowed to hold her baby due to the possibility of dropping her, getting a catheter, repeatedly vomiting, heart racing). If this is just a small sampling of the hundreds or thousands of women that give birth in the United States each day, then what are the odds that something like that is going to happen to me? It sounds awful- not at all like the magical moment you see in movies and on television. Many of these women opted for a natural or even home birth (probably owing to the fact that they were drawn from NPR's audience). Daniel and I have actually discussed this briefly, and we both agree that we would prefer a natural birth, at home if possible. That's mostly my preference, but Daniel is on the same page. So many of the women describe last minute complications that caused them to rush to the hospital in a panic, throwing their idealistic birthing plan out the window on the way.

The scientist in me feels that childbirth shouldn't be that scary. Women have been doing this for thousands of years (in our current evolutionary state- millions if you count our primitive ancestors). It seems to me that our bodies should have evolved to a place in which giving birth is relatively easy and safe. Hospitals and medication have been a routine part of childbirth only in the last 60 years. All of this tells me that it should be perfectly fine for me to give birth at home with little medical intervention and no pain medication. But then, a little voice creeps in that reminds me that for thousands of years women, and their babies, have died in childbirth. I know I have a lot of time to do more intensive research and really figure out what's right for me, especially considering I'm not pregnant or planning to become pregnant anytime soon. But reading this blog just makes me think about everything that could go wrong. And it feels like having the birthing experience that I want is going to be a long shot. Reading about all the medical complications also scares me to death. But I can't tear myself away. I want to read every gory detail, even though it terrifies me. I guess I can't wait to have my own story to tell, whether it is the perfect medication-free at-home-birth, or the rushing-to-the-hospital-to-get-an-emergency-c-section-birth. Of course, I hope for the former.