Friday Interview

Well, the interview on Friday didn't go great. It wasn't terrible either. Just okay. I was a little annoyed that I didn't get much time to talk. I spent over half the time listening and nodding. The most disappointing thing is that he explained to me that he doesn't really need someone right away. He could just use some extra help, and so he put up the job to see what kind of response he would get. And he was completely overwhelmed with how many applications he got, so he's just trying to see if there's that one perfect person in there. If he doesn't find the perfect person, he's not going to hire anyone. Well, thanks for wasting my time.

The graduate school/timing issue was handled pretty well, I think. He asked what my career goals were, if I was going to medical school or what. I told him not medical school. I explained that I've worked in a research lab for over a year now, and I really like it so that's what I want to do for now. I realize that the PRA position isn't really a long-term career, so eventually I will need to go to graduate school. He agreed. So I told him I was still exploring my options, thinking about PA school, but if I still really like research maybe get my PhD. So then of course he asked what my time frame was, 0-3 years, 3-7 years.... I told him definitely under 3 years. And just left it at that. He told me he didn't want to hire someone for under a year. In my head I was thinking "well, one year isn't the same as under one year." The whole issue was totally distracting and I felt terrible not being up front about it. But in the end, I don't care that much because it doesn't seem like a good fit anyways. This is a lab with 3 foreign men. If I get hired, I'm 25% of the lab- so if I leave in a year, that means they're losing a whole 25% of their lab. My current lab, and the one I'm interviewing with on Tuesday, is 20-30 people- with lots of 20-something girls just like me. I will fit in better, and if I get hired and leave again, no real loss. They have plenty of people to pick up the slack until they hire someone to replace me.

He (and everyone else I interview with) was very curious about the Schwartz lab. It seems like everybody knows Dr. Schwartz and is curious about what his lab is like. They all think he's this rock star scientist who's publishing papers every week. So I was asked a lot of questions about that. And why I'm leaving. I told him that I've really enjoyed working there, but there aren't any full-time positions open and I'm kind of excited about moving into a different field and learning new techniques. One other thing he said is that he isn't looking for someone who knows all the techniques. He is willing to train so that he doesn't have someone coming in saying "well that's not how I do things." I'm a little confused, because I do have training- I've worked in a lab for almost 18 months. But I am right out of college too. So I'm kind of this weird hybrid.

The whole thing just felt awkward. If I ever hear from him again, it'll be a miracle. The most awkward part was walking out of his office, shaking his hand, and this lady walks by who interviewed me a few months ago. What are the odds that out of 3 10-story buildings, I would have 2 interviews with 2 labs on the same exact floor of the same building? So she walks by and I say hello, nice to see you again. She explained to him that we talked a while ago, and I'm thinking "yeah, so now he knows you interviewed me and didn't hire me." Ugh.

I left feeling pretty discouraged, and confused, and guilty for not being up front about my plans. I drove straight to work and everyone there wanted to know how it went. After de-briefing 4 different people in less than an hour I felt a little better. Everyone had the same reaction: that he was pretty rude for interviewing me without an actual position open. And everyone in my lab is really excited for my interview on Tuesday. The head of our lab, Ivana, actually told me to ask them to call her- she wanted to give me a great recommendation. So I'm trying to focus on that. That's the job I really want anyways. If I can get past the one year thing, I know I'll be at the top of their list. So wish me luck!

Job Interviews!!

In the past 24 hours I have been offered TWO job interviews! Hallelujah Jesus! They are both research jobs at the University of Colorado- on the same campus as the PA school that I really want to get into. The first one I was offered late last night, and the interview is this Friday afternoon. This lab I'm not so sure about... just look at this picture

http://www.ucdenver.edu/academics/colleges/medicalschool/departments/medicine/MedicalOncology/research/Pages/PillaiResearchLab.aspx

I'm not really sure I would fit in, but I'm going to do my best to get a job offer anyways! I need a job and at this point I think I would be so lucky to get a job in a research lab making a decent salary with benefits at a major university. So after spending all night celebrating that I got an interview, I went to work this morning and got a phone call from another lab asking me for an interview. This one will be next Tuesday morning. I have applied for so many jobs, I wasn't sure which lab this was. But this afternoon I finally had time to do some digging and here's what I found out.

This lab is PERFECT for me! Here's why: it collaborates very closely with my current lab! The lab that's interviewing me, the Holger lab, has sent people over to present research to us. We have also sent people over to them. We work on projects together, and exchange information and protocols. It even says right on their website that they collaborate closely with the "Schwartz Lab" at National Jewish! That's my lab! Not only that, but one of my friends in my current lab has an identical twin sister that works in the Holger lab. What a coincidence. Dr. Schwartz and Dr. Holger work closely together and know each other very well. I'm sure that they read my resume, saw Dr. Schwartz, and that's how I got the interview. Besides the fact that every skill I've learned in my current job will directly translate over to the Holger lab. It's practically the same lab. How awesome is that?!! The past year I've heard all kinds of things about the Holger lab and what they're doing and I never dreamed I would be applying to work there.

My biggest fear now is that once again they will dismiss me when they realize that I'm applying to graduate school. I need to think hard about how I'm going to handle that. I'm absolutely not going to lie. I don't feel comfortable at all lying about it. But I really hope they don't ask at the same time. I'm sure that Dr. Holger speaks with Dr. Schwartz regularly, and I just asked Dr. Schwartz to write me a recommendation letter for graduate school! I really hope I don't lose this awesome opportunity. I am so excited. I can hardly wait for the interview!

Happy Palm Sunday!

What a great weekend! This was the first Saturday Daniel didn't have to work in a very long time. Usually Sunday is the only day we get to spend together, but not this weekend. And even though we both had lots of homework to do, we decided to put it off and just spend Saturday doing things we wanted to do. And that involved some gardening. We bought some pretty petunias and planted them in big pots. Right now they are right outside our front door. I don't think we're officially past the last frost of the season, so we'll have to be careful and bring them inside if it's going to get cold at night. I hope they last all the way until our family comes in 6 weeks. If they don't, we'll just plant some new ones. We also bought a tree and planted it in the front yard. Right now our front yard is just grass and it's kind of sad looking. The tree instantly brightened it up. It's a beautiful tree that has white blossoms in the spring. I'm not sure if we'll get any though because it's very young. But the leaves are "purple" which I think looks more like dark red. So it adds some nice color to the yard anyways. We also cooked dinner and had a friend over to eat with us. That's when the one bad part of the weekend came up. The whole groomsman issue surfaced again. The friend that came over for dinner is Daniel's best friend. They instantly became friends the first day of freshman year, and they've been close ever since. Daniel mentioned that his dad called again to harass him (my word, not his) about including his older brother Rennie as a groomsman.

This just gets under my skin for so many reasons. The most significant reason is Daniel's dad's general pushiness. He just won't accept Daniel's choices. He doesn't respect that Daniel can make his own decisions. A month ago Daniel and I discussed it and decided that Rennie would be an usher- he still wears a tux, he is still part of the wedding party, but he will not be escorting any bridesmaids down the aisle. That was a good compromise I thought. So when we finally made a decision, we decided that was it. No more discussion. We have spent enough time talking about it, debating it, and we were sick of it. So the choice has been made and now we don't have to think about it anymore. Well when Daniel's Dad found out about the decision, he emailed Daniel (which I am not allowed to see) and then called him to talk about it some more. This brings me to my second issue with Daniel's dad: he asked Daniel to keep a secret from me. We do not keep secrets from each other. And that he would tell Daniel purposely not to let me see it tells me a lot. To me, it means that he doesn't want anyone else involved in the decision. He feels that if he can just get Daniel alone and talk to him, he can change his mind. I think it's just wrong to get between a couple like that.

Daniel's father has just gone about this completely wrong. His reasoning is that Rennie will be very upset that he was not included. He says that every year on our anniversary we will look back at our wedding day and remember that Rennie was not included and how upset he was. That's a bunch of crap. I'll tell you what we will remember. We will remember how Daniel's Dad threatened not to come to our wedding if Rennie isn't a groomsman. We will remember how he hounded Daniel over and over again to change his mind. We will remember how aggressive and rude he was and how disrespectful he was of our decisions. We will remember how our wedding day turned from a day celebrating our love and commitment to each other into a day about Daniel and his Dad and Rennie. So he has it all wrong. And by choosing Rennie as a groomsman, Daniel will not be doing him any favors. Because who wants to be included just because someone else cornered you into making that decision? I have to add, by the way, that Rennie has never said anything about all of this. As far as we know, he has no idea there is an argument about him. I doubt he even knows the difference between a groomsman and an usher (especially since when he got married, he went to the courthouse and didn't TELL anybody until MONTHS later!) Okay I think I need a deep breath. Obviously this is a very difficult issue and I'm sick and tired of arguing about it. I just wish Daniel would make a decision and STICK with it! So we can be done with all this. Which I thought we did a month ago, but I guess not.

Well, I didn't mean for this to turn into a tirade, but I need to voice my frustrations somewhere. And if I didn't write it on here, I may very well call up Daniel's Dad and tell it to him instead. Please pray that I don't blow. Because they're coming to stay here in 6 weeks and it is very possible that this comes up. I cannot guarantee I will hold my tongue any longer!

School Randomness

Jackson is driving me crazy! He won't leave me alone. Last night I was in bed, ready to go to sleep, and he brings his disgusting mud-covered tennis ball and drops it right on my lap, on our (white) bedspread. Gross! Our house would be a million times cleaner if it wasn't for him. Especially now that he's shedding insanely because the weather is getting warmer. And our vacuum seems to have a big problem picking up dog hair. I tried to vacuum the stairs this weekend, and I ended up on my hands and knees digging the black hair out of the carpet because the vacuum just stopped sucking it up. Not my favorite chore. I've felt this intense need to obsessively clean every corner of our house lately. I think I'm getting anxious because I know we're having lots of people over in just 7 weeks. Of course, 7 weeks is plenty of time to clean! So I need to just calm down and wait like 6 more weeks.

I got my first mid-term of the quarter back, and I did very well! Or in my professor's words, "excellent!" The average was a 73, and I got an 84. It's so strange that I struggle in all of my science classes except genetics. Whenever we're covering genetics, I just get it. I still studied like crazy, and it's not like I got 100 percent, but I did very well. It's also interesting that the lab I work at is a genetics lab. I wonder if I'm good at genetics because I've had so much practical experience in the lab, or if I enjoy working in a genetics lab because I'm so good at it in the classroom. It's probably a combination. Either way I find it fascinating, which makes sitting in a lecture 3 hours a week much easier. Psychology, not so much. I find cognition incredibly boring. It is so difficult to sit for 2 hours listening to a lecture about thinking and attention. The professor doesn't help. She is a very boring person even when she's not talking about cognition. And instrumental analysis isn't that interesting either. We have our first mid-term today, so I'm hoping that goes well.

I've decided I don't really like our schedule this quarter. Daniel has class every night until 10pm. I have class during the day, and he has class at night, which means we hardly get to see each other. We might get to have lunch together a couple days a week, and we spend Sunday together most of the time. But during the week it's really difficult to have any time to spend together. It gets kind of lonely in the evenings, but I try to remind myself that this is just for a few more weeks. Once I'm out of school, I'll be working and Daniel will just attend school during the day like a normal student instead of trying to fit in 20 hours of work a week on top of graduate school. Then we can come home and have dinner together like a normal family.

I've been seriously neglecting my GRE studying. I'm out of class at 2 today, so I'm going to make myself work on it at least for a few hours. I'm taking the test in about a month, so I want to take 2 practice tests a week from now until then. The idea is that the more practice tests I take, the less freaked out I'll be on that day. It'll be just one more in a long line. I hope that theory works because I know my own stress is going to be my biggest obstacle to overcome. It always is. Of course, I have good reason to be stressed. This one test could mean the difference between getting accepted to CU or not. Which means the difference between living in Denver or not. Which means the difference between moving out of our lovely little home or not. It also could mean the difference between getting into any graduate school or not. Which means the difference between becoming a physician's assistant or not. This one test could determine my entire career for the rest of my life. Okay, I'm freaking myself out instead of calming myself down. Let's try to forget all that and just focus on doing well.

Have a lovely Wednesday!

Volunteering at the 9 Health Fair

Volunteering this weekend went great! I am so glad that I went outside my comfort zone and pushed myself to do it. I worked at the "finger stick glucose test" station which involved pricking peoples' fingers and squeezing a drop of blood onto a test strip. I also got to use my physiology knowledge and explain to people what the glucose level means and what diabetes is. Though I really did not enjoy waking up at 4:45am on Sunday, it was definitely worthwhile. It was a very long day though- at about 10am I couldn't believe I still had 2 more hours to go. The whole experience made me realize how many people are surviving without health insurance. And it made me realize that some people are really terrified of getting sick. Some people almost panicked when I told them they had elevated glucose levels. It seemed like they were thinking "what am I going to do? How am I going to pay for this?" I tried to reassure most people that it's nothing to be too concerned about (only 1 or 2 people out of the 100 I tested actually had high enough levels to be considered "pre-diabetic"). But I recommended that they keep monitoring their blood glucose, and speak to a doctor if they are concerned about it. The best part about all of this? I got 6 hours of patient care experience to put on my graduate school application! It was so easy and it felt good to be helping people who know virtually nothing about their own healthcare and don't have the means to take care of themselves. So, I signed up to do it again this Saturday. And this one is right down the street from our house at the neighborhood high school.

One aspect that was somewhat disappointing was that I didn't get a lot of interaction with healthcare professionals. I was hoping this would be a great way to meet PAs and other medical providers and learn more about what they do- maybe even do some networking and hear about some job possibilities. But I was stuck at my table the entire time, and the two other girls at my table were both in their early 20s. One was an RN, the other a licensed EMT. I was pretty unimpressed with their knowledge of basic physiology. I'm sure they both have much more practical experience than me (they were talking to each other a lot about all these different kinds of needles and stuff that I had never heard of before), but their background knowledge didn't seem very strong. I heard the RN telling a patient that insulin is an enzyme (it's not- it's a hormone). Full disclosure: I did read up on diabetes and went back to look at the chapter on diabetes in my physiology textbook. But at least I took the effort to do that. It doesn't seem like either of them thought ahead to remind themselves what diabetes is, and what the blood glucose levels mean. I also tested myself, and my reading was 79! 65-99 is normal, 100-130 is elevated, and 130 is pre-diabetic. So mine was really low. I'm still hopeful that this weekend I'll get more interaction with some PAs or doctors.

Gotta go to class!

Graduation news

We had a little household emergency yesterday. It's kind of hard to explain, but I ended up in the middle of baking cookies, with a dishwasher full of 2-day old dishes that was really starting to smell, a broken garbage disposal and therefore a non-functioning dishwasher. (side note: I have no idea why a broken garbage disposal means the dishwasher doesn't work either; another side note: I don't really care) Due to Daniel's extremely busy schedule, and the sharing of one car, I had exactly 30 minutes to drive to Home Depot and pick out a new garbage disposal. I HATE Home Depot. I walk into that store, and I'm instantly lost and confused. Seriously, how can there be so many parts that look exactly the same? Whenever we go there we end up a) spending way too much money, b) buying the wrong thing, c) buying something we really don't need, or e) all of the above. So I had 30 minutes to navigate the store, find the garbage disposals, and pick the right one so that Daniel could come home from class that night at 10pm and install it. Yes, I know, we could have actually washed the dishes by hand. But honestly, I hate washing the dishes. I will do just about anything to avoid that. Especially 2-day old smelly ones.

I got home just in time for Daniel to take the car and get to class. And while Daniel was in class I did end up washing most of the dishes. Just the ones I dirties up by baking cookies. And a few of the really smelly ones in the dishwasher. I was proud of myself for being an adult and taking care of things. Even though I know nothing about garbage disposals and hate washing the dishes. I was exceedingly proud of myself when I left the kitchen full of freshly baked cookies and not one dirty dish. So Daniel spent the morning installing the new garbage disposal. I don't know what I would do without him. Could I really install it? Maybe if I had to. One more reason I am extremely grateful I had a life partner before I moved into a house. Daniel is so handy! So, crisis averted and our kitchen is back in working order.

All of this house fixing has made me realize that in 6 weeks almost my entire family will be in Denver at the same time! That has never happened! The reason is that Daniel and I are both graduating. Originally, it was just me graduating. Daniel is in a special program where he gets both his undergraduate and his master's degree at once after 5 years. So he wasn't going to walk. But the University called him a few days ago and told him that legally they aren't allowed to keep him as an undergraduate, so he has to graduate with his class. However, since they already promised him undergraduate status, with undergraduate tuition and his original financial aid package, they will credit him for all of that. So in essence, he gets to walk with me, get his B.A. in tuba performance, but he still doesn't have to pay graduate tuition or lose any of his financial aid!

I didn't even realize how subconsciously sad I was that he wasn't graduating with me. We've hit every major life milestone together, and this would be one of the first (besides our first term in college) that we didn't get to experience together. But now we'll have another graduation picture to match our high school one! And that means that his parents are going to come. So his parents, my parents, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and my sister will all be here for graduation at the beginning of June. Which means we will have some major house cleaning to do for sure! But I am so excited. We get to celebrate this achievement together. Everything is better when it's shared with those you love.

Moving Back to Phoenix?

I still haven't heard anything about those 3 jobs I applied for. I checked, and none of the positions have been filled, so maybe they're just waiting for more applications to come in before they request interviews. I really hope I get at least one interview. The weeks are going by so fast. In less than 8 weeks I will be a college graduate. Daniel, however, got a great lead on a possible internship. It would give him more flexible hours, pay better than his current job, and give him more relevant business skills to put on his resume. The job is downtown, which would be about a 20-30 minute commute, but I think it would be worth it. One of his fraternity brothers is an intern, so he'll put in a good word for Daniel. So send prayers and happy thoughts his way!

The last week has been pretty uneventful. I can't believe how much more free time I have this quarter compared to last quarter. I find myself getting home in the afternoon and having very little homework or really anything to do in the evening. It's actually hard to get up the motivation to do what little homework I have. Who wants to interrupt their day to sit down and do 30 minutes of homework? It's almost not even worth it. But I'm very motivated to increase my GPA as much as I can in this last quarter.

This morning I participated in a "student panel." This weekend over 1,000 students who were accepted to DU came to campus. Many of them are trying to make their final decision for which college they are going to. So my job, along with 5 other current students, was to answer their questions about everything DU. It made me think a lot about my early college days, and finishing up high school, and choosing where to go. I think I have a unique perspective since I transferred from a huge private east coast school to a small private liberal arts school in the west. Transferring was one of the hardest and best decisions I ever made. It was so hard for me to suck up my pride, admit I made a mistake picking Boston University, and going through all the effort to apply and get accepted at DU. That was probably one of my most defining moments that made me step out and be independent. My parents weren't really supportive of me transferring, so I was pretty much on my own. I distinctly remember telling my mom (on the phone) that she can support me or not, but I was going to make this happen either way- and if she did support me, it would make things so much easier. I was so determined to take control of my life. And now my whole family agrees that it was a great decision- because look where I am today.

Last week I kind of realized for the first time that there is a huge possibility that we could be moving away from Denver very soon- like in a year. I've written a lot on this blog about graduate school and how I feel like my chances of being accepted to CU are very low. Of course, this is just my perception, but I believe it's based on solid evidence. And the fact is that if I don't get accepted to CU, and I do get accepted somewhere else, then we're moving. The most likely graduate schools for me to get into are in Glendale and Mesa- both would mean moving back to the Phoenix area.

I think this is a great idea. I go back and forth often between missing my family like crazy, and being extremely glad I live a solid plane ride away. I'm completely torn. I am so close to my family, and Daniel's family, so I would love to see what it's like to live near them. We have never had the chance to live independently, but in the same area as our parents. Daniel is convinced that it would be terrible. He thinks that we need our independence and our space to become our own family within ourselves. But I think that living closer would mean having dinner together, spending holidays together, and going to church together without having to LIVE together for a week at a time. (Of course we don't have to live with our family- and believe me I've considered getting a hotel- but I think that would hurt their feelings). How great would it be to see them on a more regular basis without having to spend 24/7 with them? We wouldn't have the constant issue of juggling time between families. In actuality, they are very good about planning holidays and meals together so we can be with both at the same time. But my Dad almost inevitably gets jealous and stops speaking to me for at least a day if I spend "too much" time at the Rosens'. I think that Mesa and Glendale are far enough from Scottsdale that we would have our distance, but close enough that we could see each other much more often. To be honest, my grandparents are the biggest draw. I could move in with them and it still wouldn't be spending enough time with them. I am painfully aware of the limited number of years we have left together and I want to spend every last second with them that I can. So attending graduate school in the Phoenix area would give us kind of a "trial run" to see how it goes. If it's terrible, we'll have an excuse to move away once I graduate with my Master's degree. If it's great, then we can settle down and add some grandchildren to the family!

I am still sad at the idea of leaving Denver. I absolutely love it here. I love our beautiful home, and the great friends we've made, and the gorgeous mountains I get to look at every single day. Especially this time of year. We had record highs in the high 80s on Saturday, and snow all day on Sunday. That's the Rocky Mountains! Then when we got to campus today, we noticed that many of the trees have started blooming over the weekend. I have to take more pictures of campus this year because it's my last chance. Seemingly overnight all the dead trees are covered in blossoms. There are some trees (my favorites) that are covered in light pink flowers for just a few weeks each year. Even though my nose doesn't like Spring so much, I love it. Maybe that's the desert girl inside who never got to experience real seasons.