Saturday, December 27, 2008

Anxiety!

At this point, I really don't want to go back to school.  Every time I think about it, I get a tight feeling in my chest and a headache.  I don't know why I'm so anxious about it.  I love school.  I'm happy when I'm there.  I think part of it is that we have a very long drive to get there.  The last few hours of our drive back here before thanksgiving was torturous.  It'll be about 15 hours because we're going up to the mountains.  And that may be another reason I'm stressed out.  We are going to stay with one of our friends and his family in the mountains for a few days and go skiing/snowboarding.  Jeff is a really great friend, and his family is really nice, but it's always a little weird staying at someone's house.  And his "house" is really a mansion.  A huge cabin with a work out room, outdoor jacuzzi, loft, and steam room.  Snowboarding also makes me a little worried because it's a lot of work and I'm still not very good at it.  I know I will be very sore after a day on the slopes.  If it's not a nice day, then it will be freezing cold and I will be miserable.  That won't be fun either.  Writing all of this is giving me a major stomachache.

Besides all that, I'm worried about my busy, stressful life that has become the norm during school.  Last quarter every single day was packed from waking up at 8am (or earlier) until dinner at 6 (or later).  However, I am taking less classes this quarter which will help.  And my classes will be better because there's no psychology which was a huge stressor last quarter.  But I will be working lots of hours and living in that tiny room with Daniel and eating mediocre food in the dining hall.  I just need to remind myself how happy I am with my friends at school.  I do miss them.  And how much I enjoy learning.  I'm taking three science classes which I love.  And that means very few paper writing, group projects, or presentations.  It's mostly just go to class, take notes, and study on my own.  And that's how I work the best.

So why am I so stressed out and worried?  I need to calm down.  I will focus on the positives and things I am looking forward to.

1.  being away from my dad
2. living with Daniel again
3. making my own decisions
4. having every meal prepared and cleaned up for me
5. going out on dates
6. spending a ton of time with friends
7. learning more science
8. getting that much closer to graduation
9. playing in the snow!

I will have to work on making that list longer.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Family time

My Christmas Eve and Christmas were wonderful.  It was the first Christmas that I felt like I had two complete families to spend time with.  I love that both of our families are so accommodating.

Christmas Eve was a little busy.  We went over to the Francis' house to see them before they left for the airport and we gave the boys their Christmas presents.  Then we went over to the Rosens for dinner.  It was kind of funny because it was supposed to be a Christmas Eve dinner, but over half the people there were Jewish!  Evan's girlfriend and her family are Jewish, and this other family they invited were also Jewish.  We were the only Christians!  This was one of the few times my brother has spent time with them and I was really glad he went.  Julie always cookies this huge traditional cuban meal, and it's always delicious.  Unfortunately, Nicole and I had to leave early for bells, my Dad had to leave to help with luminaries, and my Mom had to leave to pick up a family friend for church.  So we kind of ate and ran, but at least we spent a few hours there.  At the service I was kind of overwhelmed.  There were a ton of people at church that I haven't seen in a long time.  It was also strange to look around and see all the newlyweds/couples/new babies/pregnant people.  It made me jealous because Daniel's mom wouldn't let him come to the service with me.  I felt like going to church on Christmas Eve with the person you love is very important, but it didn't happen that way.  After the service I got to see Beth, Jake, and Ty, which cheered me up instantly.  They were the people I wanted to see the most even though I have seen them recently.  And Tyler came up to me and Nicole and gave us presents!  It was very cute.  Then I spent the rest of the night at Daniel's house with his family and Evan's new girlfriend's family.  We opened gifts and hung out.  

Christmas morning was very relaxed.  We woke up late and opened gifts around 10:30am.  I got a lot of very nice gifts from my whole family.  My dad even got me a GPS to take to Europe (and it will help in Denver too).  I also got lots of jewelry and a nice big check from my grandparents to put into the Europe fund.  Daniel came over and we all went to Grandma and Grandpa's for Christmas lunch.  She made a delicious prime rib roast.  Everything was delicious and perfect.  I think I may have the best (two) families in the world. I am so lucky.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Fun on the High Seas

The cruise was way better than I even thought it would be. So much fun.

I spent the night at the Rosens because we were leaving at 5am Thursday morning. Evan also spent the night, and neither of us had a bed. So Daniel, Evan, and me all shared a bed. Awkward? yes. Evan seemed to enjoy it very much. I couldn't tell whose hands were where, and it was a bit strange. And in the middle of the night, Daniel left to sleep on the couch, so I woke up in the morning next to Evan. It was very funny.

We boarded the ship at about 11am and had lunch. Then we began exploring! The ship was beautiful. It was at full capacity with over 2500 passengers + 900 crew. Daniel and I had our own room right across from his parents and next to Rennie and Evan. We unpacked and did the lifeboat drill. Our dinner every night was a gourmet three course meal. Our waitress was very nice and funny. We were so glad we got such a great waitress. We had that night plus another whole day at sea. There were many things to do on the ship. On the first day at sea we did a wine tasting (they don't card), battle of the sexes, tea time, and played blackjack at the casino. Daniel's dad taught us how to play and we did really well! We started with one hundred and stopped when we had a little over two hundred. The rest of the cruise, we really enjoyed playing blackjack and even the slots a little. I actually won $8 on the nickel slots! That night was formal night so we got all dressed up and took pictures before dinner. Some of them turned out very beautiful.

On Saturday morning we docked in Cabo. Evan and Daniel had a scuba diving excursion planned while the rest of us went whale watching. We got in this small inflatable boat and went way out into the ocean. The boat ride itself was a blast! We went really fast over waves. It was like a roller coaster. And then we saw humpback whales! They are HUGE and actually really scary. There was one point that one was swimming right towards us and I freaked out. But it was also a magical experience. I felt so close to them. It was amazing. Later, a pod of dolphins came up and swam so close we could reach out and touch them. I felt so lucky to be so close to these incredible animals. On the way back we came very close to a bunch of sea lions laying on some rocks. They were very loud and smelly, but also very cool. It was one of the best experiences of my life. After the whale watching we went shopping in Cabo. I bought some jewelry (very cheap thanks to Julie's spanish speaking and bargaining abilities). We met up with Evan and Daniel who apparently didn't have a great day. Daniel wasn't able to equalize so he couldn't go scuba diving. Instead he stayed on the boat and ended up getting seasick and throwing up 8 times. I felt so bad because we had such an incredible experience. And it turns out that Evan drank 6 beers while in Cabo and spent the rest of the evening on the boat throwing up himself. But for me, it was a fabulous day in port.

Then we had another full day at sea filled with more activities. We learned to make animals out of towels, played more blackjack, and took a nap (I was very tired). We docked in San Diego the next morning and drove home.

The best part of the cruise was spending time with my soon-to-be in-laws. I love Daniel's family. And the whole trip they really treated me like family. It was nice to spend more time with Evan. In middle school and high school we were so close, but college has distanced us. This trip gave us some more time to spend together. A lot of people asked us if Daniel and I were on our honeymoon and we had to say "not yet!". Daniel's parents also told people that I was their soon-to-be daughter-in-law. I couldn't ask for better in-laws.

Speaking of in-laws, in a couple hours my whole family is heading over there for "buena noche", a traditional cuban christmas eve. Julie cooks a delicious cuban meal and then we'll go to church for the service. Then I'll head back to the Rosens to open presents because Julie leaves tomorrow morning to spend time with her mother in Miami. I love Christmas. It's hard to believe that a whole year has passed since last Christmas. And that by next Christmas, I'll have a shiny ring on my finger :-)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

We may have found it....

I think that I have found my engagement ring!!  Actually, Daniel and his mother found it.  They were shopping at fashion square, and stopped to look in a jewelry store.  He picked it out and then showed me later.  It's gorgeous and exactly what I want!  There is a diamond in the family that we will hopefully get to put in the middle.  We don't know much about that diamond yet.  It was my great grandmother's.  But I'm sure any diamond will look beautiful in this setting.  Take a look at  http://www.helzberg.com/product/engagement+%26+wedding/bridal+mountings/3-8ct+tw+diamond+engagement+ring+1690970.do?sortby=ourPicks

So it seems all that's left is for us to get the diamond and then who knows when Daniel will pop the question?  Hopefully in Europe.  Wouldn't that be so romantic?  At the Eiffel tower, or the Spanish steps in Rome, or at Versailles, or on a boat on Lake Geneva in Switzerland, or on a gondola in Venice!  So many possibilities....

This weekend was crazy busy with all the bells performances.  I am so glad that they invited me to play with them while I'm home.  I had a great time.  I haven't been as bored as I thought I would be with my parents gone.  The only thing I don't like is coming home when the house is dark and quiet.  It's kind of scary.  So I turn all the lights on and blast music and double and triple check that all the doors are locked.  Oh and I keep Spud nearby.  But I only really have one day left until the cruise and when I get back, Nicole will be here waiting for me.  I'm excited for the whole family to be back together again.

I have been spending lots of time with my grandparents.  It's so nice that Grandma is always willing to cook dinner or something.  Everytime I come over they offer me food.  It's like they think I'm starving or something!  It's been really easy to find meals.  Between the Rosens, Grandma and Grandpa, and going out to eat, I've had to cook surprisingly little.  And now that it's been over a week, there's not much food left in the house.  I'm not sure what I'll do for dinner tonight.  I'm babysitting again, which I'm thrilled about because it's easy money.

Yesterday Julie (Daniel's mom) called Daniel and asked him if we wanted to come down and help her.  She works for Parenting Arizona, a nonprofit organization.  One of the things they do is pair up children in group homes with a "special friend".  It's basically like big brother/big sister.  So anyways, they got a bunch of money donations so Julie asked us to go shopping to buy a bunch of toys for the kids for Christmas.  She had lists that group homes had provided of each kid and what they want for Christmas.  It was kind of like a scavenger hunt.  We had $2000 which came down to like $80 per kid, but we limited it to about $40.  They were babies all the way to teenagers.  Some of them were really specific like "furreal friends puppy" so we had to find exactly that.  Then other group homes just wrote the same thing for everyone.  One had written PJ's for every kid.  I felt bad because I'm sure that those kids didn't really want PJs.  They were a bunch of teenage girls.  But that's all we had to go by, so that's what I did.  I picked out 16 pairs of pajamas.  It was actually kind of fun because I wanted to get 16 different, unique pairs.  And another group home asked for iPods for every kid (yeah, right).  So we got them generic mp3 players.  I think they'll still be thrilled.  Some of the kids I know will be very happy.  One girl asked for a cupcake maker (kind of like easybake oven).  And another girl asked for an art easel so we got her this giant box with an easel, and a ton of art supplies.  It was so much fun!  Shopping for toys for a good cause with someone else's money.  What a great afternoon.

Well I probably won't write again until after the cruise!  Think of me on the boat with Daniel, the breeze blowing, watching the sun set over the ocean with a glass of champagne in our hand.....

Monday, December 8, 2008

my life is boring

I just got home from dropping my parents off at the airport. They're going on a cruise for two weeks and I'm at home all by myself. It's very much a bittersweet feeling. I'm sad that my mom is gone, but happy that my dad is. That sounds terrible, but it's true.

I have really loved spending so much time with my Mom. I understand that it's a bad thing that she's not working right now, but I think it's the best thing in the world. I don't get to see her when I'm at school, so when I'm home I want to spend as much time with her as possible. We've been cooking and baking, decorating for Christmas, and shopping! We get along so well and I always have fun when I'm with her.

With my dad, it's the opposite. I don't think I can stand another day with him. We don't have any common interests, I never enjoy spending time with him, and sometimes he makes me very angry! So I'm really glad that he's gone. I seriously would end up screaming at him if I had to spend much more time with him.

So you can see why I'm conflicted. But, overall, I should be happy because I still have Daniel and his family, and my grandparents to spend time with. And I have some things to do this next week that will keep me somewhat busy. My mom left all the Christmas presents to wrap up, and a few things to buy that she didn't get to. I have a ton of rehearsals and performances for bells, and I'll be babysitting a little bit. Besides that, my grandparents want to take me to our annual trip to the mall at Christmas, and I want to go to the Desert Botanical Gardens. And I see this as a great chance to see all the movies that I've wanted to rent but haven't had time.

On the downside, I have to figure out what I'm going to do for meals every day. I am perfectly capable of cooking, but I've never cooked for just myself before. It seems like a lot of work for just one person. I'm planning on going to Daniel's house and my grandparents a lot for dinner. And I want to invite them over here and cook for them too.

So I guess I will be pretty busy until the cruise!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Hollywood

Well I haven't been posting because I have been away from my computer for four days (gasp!).  Thanksgiving was wonderful, if a little boring.  Daniel came over to my house and we ate one dinner, and then we both went to his house and had another dinner.  The food was delicious as usual.  And it was nice to spend time with my family, but for some reason the conversation was unusually boring this year.  

The next morning my mom, Aaron, my grandparents, and me squished into a small car and drove to LA.  We got there around 3pm and went to Hollywood boulevard to do all the touristy stuff.  I have been to LA many times, but I have never actually walked on Hollywood so it was all so exciting for me!  We saw the Pantages Theater, the Chinese Theater, and the Kodak Theater.  My mom and I went shopping.  Then my uncle Paul called and we met him, my Aunt Sandy, my cousin Cedar, and her husband Raffi at this awesome italian restaurant near our hotel.  Cedar and Raffi just had a baby on October 27 ( my mom's birthday coincidentally) so she was tiny!  My grandma and my mom held her for a while during dinner.  I didn't get too much time to speak with anybody because there were so many people and it was kind of overwhelming.  I haven't seen any of these people in like 4-5 years.  

The next morning Uncle Paul came to our hotel and led us on an adventure!  We drove through Beverly Hills and Bel Air to see all the fancy houses.  We drove on Sunset Boulevard and Rodeo drive.  Rodeo Drive had crystal chandeliers on the sidewalk!  Then we ended up at the ocean.  I LOVE the ocean.  We went to Santa Monica Pier and met Cedar, Raffi, and Vanessa at the pier.  I was really excited to see Vanessa.  She's closer to my age (24) and very outgoing and fun.  We had lunch at this little mexican restaurant.  Cedar went to feed Chloe while me, my mom, Aaron, Vanessa, and Raffi went on all the carnival rides on the pier. We did the ferris wheel and the roller coaster.  It was really fun and I finally became comfortable with everyone.  To end the afternoon, Aaron and I wanted to walk on the beach and go down to the water.  It was COLD!  We had dinner and then went back to the hotel to change clothes.  That night we went to this place called the Magic Castle.  It's a club for magicians.  To be a member, you have to pass a really hard test to prove that you're a really great magician.  Every famous magician was a member (Houdini, David Copperfield, Siegfried and Roy, etc.).  They could go there and exchange tricks and stuff.  Now you can go only if you're invited by a member.  So my Uncle Paul knows a member and he gave us a private tour.  It was really crowded.  People were having bachelor parties and birthday parties, and everyone was drinking a lot!  He took us from room to room and showed us around.  In each room there is a bar or tables where there are different magicians doing close-up magic.  It's so cool because you're sitting right there.  So one guy asked me to cut the deck, pick a card, show it to everyone, and all that.  You can order drinks and some people eat dinner there too.  And there are a few different theaters where magicians put on shows for an audience.  But you have to get in line like 45 minutes before to get a seat.  We only got into one show, but we got to see lots of other little shows at the bars and stuff.  If you ever get a chance to go, you definitely should.  

On Sunday we spent the morning at Griffith Observatory.  We could see the whole city and the Hollywood sign from the top of the hill.  Inside it was a free museum that explained all about astronomy.  I loved it, but that's probably because I love science.  We had lunch and went to a new mall that opened up in Glendale, California.  They have a trolley that drives through the mall and a Christmas tree that's like 40 feet tall!  It's kind of like Kierland, but with a huge fountain like Disneyland!  All the stores were super expensive (Tiffany's,  Coach) so we didn't really buy anything.  Then we went back to the hotel to get ready for Vanessa's wedding.  She was getting married in the Celebrity Centre which is one of scientology's big buildings in Hollywood.  We went up to the hotel room (in the Celebrity Centre also) where all the girls got ready and took pictures.  The ceremony was really small, only about 40 chairs.  It was outside by a waterfall.  Vanessa was crying when she walked down the aisle.  Her husband looked like he was 16, but he was really 20. He's very shy and quiet, so I didn't really get to know him at all.  The ceremony was full of a bunch of scientology stuff that I didn't know, but the basic idea was the same as our weddings.  The reception was just a few feet away inside the building.  It went very fast, immediatly they cut the cake, threw the bouquet, did toasts, and first dances.  By 8:00 everyone was leaving.  Even her dad left before it ended.  He had to go to work.  Unbelievable, huh?  But that's scientology.  We got some pictures of the family (minus her dad) and that was it!  Paul set us up with a tour of the building, which actually turned out to be a sales pitch for scientology.  Our tour guide took us into an office and showed us a bunch of movies about scientology.  They were ridiculous and my mom, brother, and I actually laughed out loud at how ridiculous it was.  Then she demonstrated the e-meter on my brother.  Those people are crazy.

We drove home yesterday.  It was a loooong drive and I was happy to get my own room back.  Overall, it was an awesome trip.  I love my family and it was really fun spending time with them.  And I love California!  And I love weddings!  

Speaking of weddings.... Daniel picked out my ring.  And my Aunt Shirley is giving me great grandma's diamond.  So it seems I'll be getting engaged quite soon!  I can't wait!